


The Second Son

by typingkeys11



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Adoption, Bullying, F/M, Family, Father-Son Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Magic, Marriage, Mother-Son Relationship, Obsession, Origin Story, Politics, Royalty, Sibling Rivalry, Trust Issues, childhood illness, kingdom - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-10-01 08:52:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10185554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/typingkeys11/pseuds/typingkeys11
Summary: The Kingdom of Asgard stood in horror and dismay when it was revealed who their new king was. How was it possible for the lesser, the crueler, and...the mad son of Asgard take the throne?But things were not as they seem. The second prince proves to be an unexpected surprise as he assumes Asgard's throne, bringing the realm beyond their imaginations and succeeding as a king.The son who desired a throne sits upon it firmly but finds being king is a harder and less desirable task than he once believed. As he continues to reign, Loki finds himself grappling with his mind and heart for what he really wants.  One must be careful for what one craves.An origin tale of Loki's childhood, adolescence, and adulthood but briefly touching on the events of the Thor films. Continues off after the end of Thor 2.





	1. Prologue

Prologue

 

 _It was for the good of the Nine. He needed to protect them all and neutralizing this threat was his duty, granted upon by his father and his father before him. It needed to be done or else they would all be enslaved to this…this monstrous species that would rape the women and slaughter the children. It had to be done. It was their kind or everyone else._  Odin trudged through the sea of bodies, it was so dark he couldn’t even tell which where Aesir and which were Jotun. Well, if he looked closer he would probably know but he was so tired now. He fought hard for weeks and at last, his war came to a close and he earned his victory. The pain in his body radiated all the way from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. The blasted cold of the damned realm of Jotunheim exacerbated the pain of his injuries and even the parts of him that weren’t injured ached unmercifully.  

The wind howled wildly against his ears, despite his winged helmet protecting them. He looked around, wondering where his second in command was. Was Fyri even alive still? The realm was beginning to invade his mind in strange ways now…he thought he heard a strange cry just a moment ago. _Fool_ he thought to himself. _You need to return home. You need your bed, your wife, and your son again. Find Fyri or anyone else for that matter and assemble whatever men remain so you can all GO HOME!_

Odin turned his back again, casting a glance once more for any wandering figures. He heard it again! This time higher but something about the sound was weak.  Probably some twisted and hideous animal injured during the onslaught of the battle.  Odin, for some inexplicable reason, decided to find the source of the noise and went up the steps of a damaged building. It was likely the beast was trapped under some rubble and needed to be released. The animal never harmed him so he supposed he could let it escape. As he drew closer, the cry was sharper and more grating upon his ears. On second thought, perhaps he would kill the thing and put it out of its misery.  When he finally arrived to the source of the crying, he was hit with a pungent odor. He was long since immune to the scent of blood but this was worse. It was foul and he nearly gagged at the smell. What in Valhalla did the Jotnar eat to produce such a dreadful and unholy smell?  Odin looked down and to his great dismay, he saw a small and sickly infant weakly thrashing his legs.

It was small for Jotun and there was a loose rag that seemed to serve as some sort of awkward diaper. The baby must have soiled himself and was likely crying out to be cleaned. The child was the most pitiful looking thing he had ever seen in all of his life. Surely this wasn’t… Odin had heard rumor that Laufey had a bastard son who was small and weak for a Jotun. The child had been left to perish but Odin had never given much thought to the story. Was this Laufey’s abandoned child? Oh but if it was…and it was beginning to appear more likely...this could truly mean something!

The Jotnar were weakened for now but if history had told him anything, there would be another uprising and another bloody campaign that robbed the Aesir of countless sons, husbands, and fathers. He could take the boy and present him back to Laufey (if the damnable giant was still alive) and show that he mercifully spared the life of a prince, raised him under his protection, and gave him the upbringing that a royal deserved. The child was weak and underfed too and under his roof, he could thrive well!

Only one problem to this plan. The Aesir would go mad upon seeing a Jotun walk amongst them like he was one of them. Something would have to be done…Frigga might have the seidr to do something to fix this. Odin lifted the child up and stared at him. The baby instantly stilled and looked up at Odin with unwavering red eyes. Could the babe even see him clearly? He heard that the Jotnar saw things differently than the Aesir or Vanir could.  Odin used a bit of his own (although weak) seidr to cover the boy under the guise as an Aesir child. The transformation slowly spread over him but he knew it would not last long. The infant’s skin began to fade from a deep blue to a pale white. Not exactly in line with how an Asgardian looked but better than he was before.   The baby cooed for a moment, probably happy to be lifted off the cold, hard ground.

In spite of himself, Odin couldn’t help but smile. It wasn’t his son and would never be but the boy would be different from all others, somehow. _Yes_ , he thought as he tucked the child close to him and speedily made his way down the path. _This boy will change things forever._  

 

Frigga anxiously passed by the window and peered out the window again. Oh, when would her husband return home? He had been gone for nearly three months and his last missive came in eight days ago. Surely, he would be back by now! It was not as though they moved at the slow and strange pace that Midgardians traveled at! What was the cause of the delay? What if Odin had been attacked? Was the missive a trick of some sort? Frigga knew she was being paranoid but they were at war and one could never be too careful about spies and others who wanted to infiltrate them. Luckily for Asgard, the Blower of Gjallarhorn, Heimdall, would alert them of danger for he saw and heard of all that passed in the Nine Realms. 

As Frigga was lost in thought about whether the letter she received was a ploy, a servant knocked loudly on the door.  One of Frigga’s ladies answered it and then quietly whispered to Frigga that Odin had returned but demanded she come quickly into the healing chambers.  She tried to walk as quickly as she could but looking as dignified as possible.  When she entered the healing chambers, she was prepared for the worst and did her best to compose herself from screaming upon seeing her injured husband’s form.  Yet, when she entered a smaller chamber within she found herself utterly unprepared for the sight before her.

Odin, thankfully, was standing well and upright. He looked tired but healthy just the same. However, it was the squirming and blue-colored legs that were kicking about that surprised her. 

“My King, what have you brought?” she asked cautiously when she drew near him. Her surprise at the blue infant outweighed her relief to see her husband.

Odin shrugged apologetically, “I tried to change his color before but it appears that it didn’t hold. I thought you could use your _seidr_ to change him again.”

Frigga raised an eyebrow, “Change him why? What was he before and why does it matter to us that he is ‘changed’?”

Odin sighed. He found himself in quite an interesting situation now. He proceeded to tell Frigga of how he found Laufey’s prince, a weakling Jotun abandoned to die in a temple. Odin further explained how the child would be the key to ensuring peace between the warring realms for thousands of years to come.

Frigga looked at him skeptically, “If I may ask, how will this work? How do you know that Laufey will be pleased at you saving a child that he cast out himself? What if it appears as though you kidnapped the child and are holding him until your demands? That would be enough to start another war!”

“We will raise him as our own! He will be in want for nothing and raised as a prince should be! If the Jotnar can see how well we’ve treated one of them, despite his father being our enemy, they shall want to create an alliance. “Odin insisted.

Now Frigga wanted to laugh out loud. Raise a Jotun as a Prince of Asgard? The Asgardians would overthrow the House of Odin for sure if they knew a Jotun was living amongst them and as part of the Royal Family.

“And how, shall we raise a very obvious Jotun as our son? I am quite sure our people will be most displeased with us for bringing in a child from the realm that murdered countless Aesir.”

Odin frowned at Frigga’s tone. “Know your place, Lady. I am no fool to believe that our people will respond well to a Jotun in Asgard. This is why I asked you to change his form from Jotun to Aesir. No one shall know the difference.”

Frigga bowed her head and murmured an apology but still looked unconvinced. “There is one problem, my Lord. Transformation _seidr_ is not always permanent, especially on living things. The bonds of magic break after a time and the living object will resume its’ original form.”

Odin cursed under his breath and thought for a moment. “At least do something for now, we shall summon our best seidkonur to create a permanent spell for him or at least one that will not expose him to those in this realm. “

Frigga couldn’t help but feel a profound sense of sadness upon looking at the infant. Even though he was the son of a sworn enemy and was one of the most detested creatures Asgardians knew of, Frigga felt for the baby. He never asked to be born. He was cast out because he looked weak and now he was taken in by a strange people only to serve as a political tool. Would there be anyone to love him as all living things deserved? He was all alone in this life and had no one on his side. Frigga bit her lip as she felt tears sting her eyes. _Poor little babe,_ she thought. Frigga closed her eyes and concentrated her _seidr_ , she then waved her hands over the baby and his skin instantly changed from blue to the pale white again. His eyes were no longer red but a deep green color. The hair on his head which looked like rough and dry tufts became a smooth black and covered his small head completely. 

Odin frowned again at the baby’s new appearance. He didn’t really look like an Asgardian. He was much too pale and very few Aesir had black hair like this.  Besides, the child didn’t look as though he was related to anyone in the House of Odin either.  “Why is he so pale? Can we not darken his skin to look more golden? He looks ill.”

Frigga waved her hands again but the child remained in this state. “I did not even think of him being so pale as part of his appearance that I envisioned. I imagined Thor’s face when I did but there must be something inside of him that is not allowing the _seidr_ to work properly, “she muttered.  Well if her seidr didn’t work, then it wasn’t likely that any other _seidkonur_ could produce better results.  

“He cannot look like that! The boy looks odd!” Odin protested.  This time, it was Frigga’s turn to give her husband a disapproving look.  “He does not look odd! He does not look like other children but he is not odd. We cannot refer to him like this if we are going to raise him like he is our son!”

Odin was taken aback by Frigga’s sudden change, “He isn’t really our son, Frigga. We’re just fostering the child until Laufey threatens war!”

Frigga only stared at Odin, wanting so much to tell him that this was wrong. “We will call him our son. When it is the right time, we will tell him the truth but he is just a babe, Odin. The boy has never wronged us nor did he ask for Jotun parentage. We can’t make him look like a normal Asgardian because he isn’t one. “

The baby began to wail now and Frigga scooped him up. There must have been a great deal of _seidr_ in the room or something strange in the air because Frigga instantly felt love when she held the baby. She found herself feeling the same way she had felt the first time she held her Thor in her arms when he was born.  The baby instantly quieted and sighed sleepily. _Oh dear boy,_ she thought lovingly as she continued to look into his eyes.   _You won’t be alone in this world because you’re mine. Completely and entirely, you are mine._  

Odin stared in wonder at his wife gazing at the baby. She was looking at him like she looked at Thor. How did she get so attached to the child so quickly? It was different, he supposed for men and women. Yet still, anything that pleased Frigga in this way pleased him too.  He smiled softly at the scene before him before clearing his throat.

“What shall we name him? We very well can’t refer to him as ‘Laufeyson’, can we?”

Frigga didn’t look up as she continued smiling at the little bundle in her arms.

“Loki. We shall name him Loki.”

* * *

Take two with this, fellows! I had originally had this story up before but I took it down. I think I might be ready to work on it again. I know where I want the story to go and I think I have found my muse again! Hope you will join me again or for the first time as I try my hand with it once more!


	2. Chapter1

Chapter 1

 

Frigga was used to the sound of children crying. After all, Thor used to (and still did at times) release hearty roars of dissatisfaction like clockwork. Usually Thor bellowed when he wanted his meals, when he broke one of his many number of toys, or when he was being put down for his naps. Odin and Frigga did not mind it since he was mostly a happy child who laughed or shouted gleefully more often than not. However, Frigga was met with a rude awakening when it came to Loki.

The baby did nothing but cry and his cries were not loud and full throated but rather, they were a high-pitched and thin. It also seemed like he cried at everything. Loki cried when other nursemaids tried to attend him, he cried when he was put in a warm basin of water, and he especially cried when he was parted from Frigga. She found her stomach churning and her ears throbbing every time she heard her new son crying. 

Perhaps the Norns were angry with them for taking a child without asking and were punishing her and Odin both by having them choose a child who was so terribly difficult to care for.  Yet, every time Frigga looked upon the small infant, her heart broke for him again and she did her absolute best to soothe him. Whenever Frigga thought Loki was asleep, she would quietly leave his chamber and carry out her work for the day only to be interrupted twenty minutes later by a stressed looking handmaiden nervously mumbling that the baby had woken again and was crying. 

It also did not help that his appetite was very poorly and he could hardly keep anything down. Loki instantly spat out everything but cold milk and even then, he would likely have only half a bottle or less.  The poor boy looked even more underfed and unwell.

Despite the difficulty in raising the child, Frigga was getting continually attached to him. The weaker he appeared, the more Frigga doubled her efforts to help him get stronger. When Odin once tried to (gently) tell her that it seemed likely the child would not live, Frigga burst into tears and did not speak to Odin for nearly two days.  Although the situation appeared dire now, things were to become drastically worse.

Frigga had finished playing with Thor and had passed him off to a nursemaid. She was going to interview a new young lady for her Counsel and had several more candidates to meet afterwards. Frigga did her best to pay attention to the young woman but she was so frightfully boring and long winded in her responses. Frigga despised it when she was overly praised and flattered.  Just before Frigga could ask another question, she heard a loud scream and a terrified looking nursemaid burst into the room.

“Your Majesty! Please! Come quickly! It’s the baby! You must come at once!”

Frigga didn’t even excuse herself from the interview and practically ran after the nursemaid. “What is it? Is he unwell?”

The nursemaid’s eyes were full of fear. “Majesty! He is blue! His eyes are bright red! HE LOOKS LIKE A FROST GIANT!”

Frigga had to instantly shush her before she could attract any more attention. “That can’t be! Has the babe been cursed?” Frigga lied.

“I know not, my Queen but you must go take him to a healer! He looks unnatural!”  Frigga dismissed the nursemaid for the day and made the girl promise to be silent. As Frigga walked to Loki’s chamber she was internally panicking.

She knew that the seidr would not be permanent and she knew it would happen again but she had absolutely no idea what to do to fix this.  When Frigga entered the room, she paled instantly upon seeing her son. The boy was indeed back in his original frost giant form but this time, but the room felt uncomfortably humid. Frigga came to a horrifying realization.

Loki was laying directly under a window with the sun brightly shining in his room. If there was anything that Frost Giants did not physically respond well to was heat. Loki was crying louder than he ever had and was squirming violently in his cradle. Rivulets of sweat were pouring down his skin and puffs of steam were emitting from him. He was being melted alive. Frigga snatched him up and bolted out of the room.

  She took Loki into her chamber and did her best to heal him and change him back to an Aesir/Vanir form.  Sadly, she looked down on the poor and helpless baby. The seidr was not going to hold again but she would have to find something to keep him from being exposed again. In the meantime, they would have to be very careful in presenting Loki to anyone.

How horrifying it would be if he suddenly changed back into his Jotun form during some palace event or a Feast Gathering? The child would be snatched from her and instantly murdered. Frigga began to fret. What if another servant encountered him in his Jotun form and proceeded to tell everyone?  Unfortunately, there was no known spell they could use to permanently transform Loki into a non-Jotun.

Of course, she and other seidkonur would have to work together to create some magic but spells like this took time and a great deal of trial and error. During that time, what would they do? This was not a decision she could make by herself, she would have to consult with Odin but she had a strong feeling that she would not like what her husband would have to say.

 

“We shall have to hide him away. It is doable because few in the household are even aware he is with us. We will give him his own quarters and we will have to choose staff very carefully to attend to him,” Odin decided.

He had listened to Frigga’s story and during the time, he began to heavily regret bringing Loki into his home. He didn’t know why, but the child made him terribly uneasy. For one thing, the incessant crying was enough to drive the strongest of men into insanity. Secondly, Loki had an unnerving way of staring at him, as if he knew all of Odin’s secrets.

Then again, Odin was a fool for thinking that a Jotun infant would be friendly and good natured but what was more troubling was that Loki didn’t even behave like a Frost Giant infant either. All he did, really, was cry for Frigga and stare at things with intensity.Privately, hiding the child away would be a welcome relief. Frigga stared at Odin with complete disappointment.

 “You said we would raise him like a prince! How in Valhalla is that anyway to treat one of our sons?”

“He is not our son! We are simply fostering him until the Jotnar wish to wage war again!”

“My King, it is unfair to him! He is only an infant and he is unwell! We must do something else!” she cried.

“He is an infant! He will not remember and what else do you suggest we do? Wait for him to take on his Jotnar form in front of everyone?” Odin boomed.

“We cannot hide him forever!” Frigga argued. This discussion was going nowhere. Deep down, she knew Odin was right and really, she didn’t have a better solution. They would simply have to hide him until she and the other seidkonur could do something to keep him from exposing his true form at the wrong time.  Still…she hated herself for treating the poor baby this way. No child deserved to be hidden away from the world and treated as though he or she was something undesirable. 

With a sigh, she conceded to Odin but she would do everything in her power to make sure Loki was treated well and had some semblance of normalcy. It would just require a great deal of secrecy from everyone else.

* * *

 

It had taken a few weeks (nearly a whole month) of intense argument, compromise, and negotiation but Frigga had finally come up with a way for Loki to be protected in the Palace. Unfortunately, Loki was not allowed to leave the Palace nor was he able to stay for Feast Gatherings. Certain parts of the Palace were off limits to him such as Council Chambers, the Throne Room, and any particular area that gathered large crowds such as the Dining Hall.

However, Loki was allowed to play and visit in Frigga and Odin’s chambers, along with Thor’s. He was also more than welcome to go in the library and Frigga insisted that Loki had two extra chambers for his personal use along with his sleeping chamber.  Frigga also ensured that Loki had two set time periods in which he was allowed to go to the gardens and everyone else in the Palace was not to visit during that time except the Royal Family or his nanny (when they found one). 

The staff and other members of the Palace were puzzled by the changes but understood that it was imperative for second son to not be distressed.  Since Frigga was unable to care for Loki at all hours, she searched far and wide for a suitable nanny for him.

At long last, she found Arna. Arna was a young, spindly woman with dark skin and dark eyes. She had a perpetually nervous look about her and looked as though she was going to faint if Frigga looked at her. Not to mention, she was wearing highly unfashionable and ugly clothing. Her apron was full of pockets that bulged with strange things. Odin was dismissive of her immediately.

If she ever saw Loki in his Jotun form, the nanny would die of horror.  Frigga was not too impressed with her either but she had been told that Arna was highly gifted with her seidr and could be useful. However, Frigga’s impression of her changed greatly when she brought Loki to Arna.  Frigga gently deposited Loki upon the floor and Arna (in a rather undignified way) got on the floor with Loki. He stared at her with a furrowed brow but did nothing. Arna smiled gently for the first time and pulled out a jar of an amber colored substance.

“It’s honey from Vanir, Majesty.” Arna said shyly. “May I give him some?”

Frigga nodded, utterly fascinated by how Loki was completely silent and not at all frightened by the strange girl before him. Arna unfasted the lid of the honey and dipped her finger in it. She smiled kindly at Loki and held her honey covered finger out. Loki looked at Frigga and then Odin and back to Arna again.

“Majesties, he wants to know it is safe. Tell him it’s all right.”

Odin did nothing, confused by the peculiar woman but Frigga nodded enthusiastically at her son, cooing and motioning him to go forward.  Loki scooted a bit closer and stared again. Arna kept smiling and extended her hand further. Loki did not open his mouth until her finger was on his lips. At last he opened it and Arna gently put her finger in his mouth. The second the honey touched his tongue, Loki’s eyes widened. He promptly began to lick greedily at Arna’s finger. Frigga was so delighted that she began to clap happily.

Yes, Arna was not a normal choice but she was kind and she was not afraid of her son nor was Loki afraid of her. Arna and Loki played for a little longer until Loki began to fuss out of some unknown discomfort.  Frigga asked for Arna to take a walk with her in the gardens. Outside, she immediately hired her as Loki’s nanny but was surprised the shy young woman voiced her concerns.

“I have helped care for children before, Majesty. I find it odd that he is not playing with others and he seems to be in seclusion.

Frigga sighed and told Arna the truth about Loki’s parentage. To her surprise, Arna was completely nonplussed about him being a Jotun. 

“I will need your help with your seidr. It is well known and I wish to use our seidr to create something that will keep him from turning into a Jotun in front of people who should not see him in that way. You know as well as I do that transformation seidr on living things is not permanent.”

Arna nodded sagely, “I would be honored to help but I do not think it wise to withhold who he really is.”

Frigga gave her a wistful smile. “Aye, I agree with you. We shall tell him when he is old enough to understand. Yet I do not want him to misunderstand and believe he is not our son.”

“That is kindly of you but…” she trailed off.

Frigga prompted her to speak and speak honestly. Arna sighed, “I think your son will be unclear about this since the King appears to not share your belief. Forgive me, but he was very distant. It is not my place but it is important that the All-Father bond with Loki as well. Children are far more perceptive than we think.”

Frigga wanted to scold Arna for speaking of Odin that way but she did tell her to be honest and the girl made an astute observation. Still, Frigga rather liked Arna and respected her despite her strange manner and outward appearance. Although she seemed timid and shy, she was forthcoming and did not speak foolishly.

After Arna was told to meet with one of the Head Handmaidens to arrange for her stay, Frigga met with Thor’s nanny, Nefja. She was also a respectable and bold woman who did not suffer fools gladly. So very different than her new counterpart. Nefja was a short, stout woman with flaming red hair. Though she had a stern face and firm countenance, she adored her young charge.  Frigga approached Nefja with an idea.

“I have just employed a new nanny for Prince Loki. I wish for you to bring Thor to his chambers to play every day. I want my two sons to play as brothers do, despite the younger prince’s poorly condition. You may decide for how long but Prince Thor must engage with his brother and learn to care for him,“ Frigga said firmly. 

If Odin could see how attached young Thor (his clearly preferred son) was to his little brother, perhaps he would attempt to bond more with Loki and treat him as a son. After all, Odin was an excellent father to Thor and would do anything to see his son happy. Anything Thor usually liked, Odin would make grand and dramatic displays of approval to it in order to see Thor beam and squeal with joy.

 The only catch was getting Thor to even like Loki in the first place and to be truthful…Loki was not exactly helping his cause by crying every time Thor used to come to him in the beginning.

 

 

Now that Arna was properly settled with Loki, Frigga arranged for Nefja to bring Thor to Loki’s play chamber. Loki was propped up in Arna’s lap and he instantly began to whimper when Thor came in. Thor looked at Frigga and frowned.

“The baby is mean! He always cries when I come!” he grumbled.

Arna smiled in the special way she smiled at Loki, “Oh darling, he is not mean. He is afraid. You are such a big and strong boy and he is so very little. He thinks everything bigger than him is frightening.”

Thor’s eyes widened in shock. He couldn’t believe that anything would be afraid of him. He looked at Nefja in surprise. Nefja gave Thor one of her few and rare smiles (ones she only gave him) and said. “Aye, the babe is not unusual for that! I used to get scared of things that were bigger than me and I still do sometimes!”

Nefja was lying through her teeth of course. As though she would be afraid of anything! She knew better than to undermine Arna in front of the boy and the Queen. As a fellow care-giver to children, she knew how important it was to support another adult, especially during a teaching moment.

Thor, feeling a little more trusting now that Nefja had agreed with Arna, let go of his nanny’s hand and began to cautiously walk towards Loki. Loki’s small face began to crumble but Arna soothed him instantly. She held her hand out Thor, beckoning him forward.  She helped Thor put his hands around Loki’s wrists gently and instructed him to pull Loki’s hands apart and then clap them together. Thor did so hesitantly and once he did Loki looked up in confusion at the clapping sound. Thor looked up with excitement at Frigga and continued to show Loki how to clap. Loki was fascinated by the clapping sound and with each clap, the corners of his mouth began to turn up.  Suddenly, Loki let out a small giggle as Thor began to clap Loki’s hands together faster and faster.  

“The baby is not crying! The baby likes me now!” he chanted. The boys continued this clapping game for nearly an hour. It was such a mundane and small thing but their happiness was nearly tangible. For once, Loki actually smiled and giggled at his older brother.  Frigga thanked the Norns again and again as she watched her two boys play.   She knew Loki was not an easy child (nor was Thor for that matter) but at least today was a good day and hopefully the first of many more to come. 


	3. Chapter 2

_"Eight" Years Later_   
  


“NEEEEEEEEFFFFFFFFJJJJJJJJJJAAAAAAAA! NEFJA! Loki broke it again!” Thor screamed in outrage. He towered over his smaller brother, giving him a glare that only the firstborn son of Odin was capable of giving.

He didn’t mind having to play with Loki (he couldn’t do it much since the younger was always “tired” or “unwell”) but his brother had an unseemly habit of taking apart his toys. For some reason, Loki just wouldn’t play and he would systematically dismantle a toy and observe each part in great detail. He didn’t bother to put it back together either. This time, Loki went too far in that he destroyed a particular favorite toy of Thor’s (a miniature Destroyer) and the head of miniature was nowhere to be found. Thor loved that Destroyer and Loki ruined it.

Nefja came bustling over and saw the scene of her charge standing above Prince Loki. Prince Loki was staring up at Thor in puzzlement while clutching the torso in one hand and the legs in the other. He really didn’t see what he had done wrong. Nefja gave a great sigh.

The younger Prince had a horrible habit of antagonizing the elder. She had spoken to Arna many times about Loki needing to learn to leave Thor’s toys alone but there was clearly a breakdown in communication. Truthfully, Arna was much too soft of the child and the little prince had no regard for his older brother’s belongings or feelings. He was getting old enough now to understand these things. After all, he was eight decades old now!

“Prince Loki! That was very bad of you! Surely you know now not to break Prince Thor’s things! We’ve told you many times now!”

“But I only wanted to see the inside of it!” Loki protested.

Nefja shook her head. “Did you even ask Prince Thor?”

“He always says no! He never lets me play with this things.”

“That’s because you always break them!” Thor shouted. 

“I do not ‘break’ them on purpose! I’m looking at what makes it work!” Loki insisted again. Honestly, who wasn’t curious to see how the toy Destroyer automatically moved without any help? Did Nefja use magic? He didn’t think so since he didn’t see her do anything. It must be something on the inside!

Now Thor was very angry. Loki openly denied breaking the toy on purpose when he saw him take the head of the Destroyer off deliberately.  He was so very annoyed with all ridiculous excuses Loki made. Hot, red anger clouded his mind and hid away his reason. Without thought, his clenched fist reared back and he gave Loki a sound punch to the nose.  Blood started pouring out and Loki screamed with pain and horror.  Loki was knocked flatly on his back and he clutched his nose, trying to stop the blood from gushing out.  He began crying loudly.

Thor stood over his younger brother, horrified at what he had done but he couldn’t move.  Nefja was dragging him away and Arna came running over, things flying out of her overstuffed apron pocket. 

“I’m sorry…I’m…I did not mean…” Thor whispered as Nefja dragged him by the arm. He couldn’t hear really what she was shouting at him but he hated himself at that moment.

He hurt his younger brother. Mother made him promise to never hurt anything smaller or weaker than him. Mother also told him that Loki was a special baby given to them from the Norns and it was his job to protect Loki. After all, good kings protected those who were not as strong.  

He caught one last look at Loki, who had been scooped up by Arna. He was clutching on to her for dear life. The look of utter fear and shock in his eyes seared itself into Thor’s heart. He wanted to run over and apologize but Loki was being taken away by Arna and he by Nefja. _I’m sorry, Loki. I really am. Please don’t be angry with me anymore._

 

After Arna soothed him (it took at least a few hours), Loki lay in his bed and stared up at the ceiling. The events from earlier in the afternoon replayed continually in his mind, each revisit worse than before.

The look of anger and hate in Thor’s eyes had frightened him.

The hardness of his large fist (his own hands were nowhere near as big) as it collided into his nose shocked him. 

Thor didn’t even try to apologize for what he did. He only stared. Why? He just wanted to learn how the blasted toy worked!

Thor had no right to hit him and to hit so hard!  He felt like crying again. He already hated it that he never got to go outside or play with Thor and the other children of the palace. Whenever he started feeling too hot, Arna or mother made him go to his room and had him go to sleep! Father said he was not allowed to go to the grand feasts that occurred every fortnight. Loki hated hearing all the laughter, movement of the servants and guests and smelling the food. All but a few feet away from him.

He was forced to be locked up inside a cool dark room. Thor got to go to the feasts! Thor got to do everything! Thor even got to hit him and not get in trouble! Angry, hot tears welled up in his eyes. He clutched his blankets tightly. He wanted to scream how it wasn’t fair. None of it was! He was punished for being hit by being sent to his room!

Loki picked up a pillow laying near his head and threw it as hard as he could at the door. Throwing the pillow and imagining it being Thor did nothing to calm his anger or sadness. Arna quietly opened the door a few seconds after.  If Loki were not so upset, Arna wanted to laugh out loud at the little prince’s expression. His bottom lip was sticking out in an adorable (yet angry) pout and his short little arms were crossed tightly across his stomach.  His brow was furrowed into a hard “V” shape above his eyes. Still, she was a professional and laughing at her young charge would drive him away from her for a very long time.

“My dear boy, are you all right?” she asked kindly. Loki softened mildly. Only Arna and Mother seemed to care about him. Arna always stayed with him when he wasn’t allowed to go to the feasts or play with others outside. She always sang to him or told him such wonderful stories. Arna’s face and voice were so kind and full of love. She would never hurt him like Thor would.  

“I hate Thor,” Loki grumbled.

Arna tsked at him and shook her head. “You shouldn’t hate Thor. Big brothers do that sometimes and yes, it was wrong but he loves you very much.”

“He did not even say sorry!”

“No, he did not but I know for a fact that he is very sorry. I’m sure Nefja told him to apologize when he sees you next time.”

“I do not want a next time! I never want to see him again! Everyone likes Thor and no one likes me! It is why Father will not let me go anywhere!” Loki shouted.

Now Arna felt a great deal of pain for the small boy before her.

“That is not true and you are speaking with anger. Who will you have left if you never see Thor again? It is also false that ‘no one likes you’. I like you very much. Why, I even love you, my little prince! Your mother loves you, Thor loves you, your father! You cannot say no one likes you, “she said tenderly.

Loki frowned, “Father doesn’t love me. He never comes here and he never lets me go anywhere.”

“Darling, darling! No! He loves you very much but he is the King! It is difficult for him to get away from his work and….and he doesn’t let you go to feasts because you are too young.”

Loki was still unconvinced. He turned his head away from her, unsatisfied with her words. Arna didn’t seem to understand.  Arna could see that Loki was feeling let down and was still very unhappy. She tried another tactic.

“Did you know…that you are the luckiest boy in the palace?

Loki stilled and turned to look at her again, skeptical. “How so?”

Arna smiled, “Well, you opened Thor’s toy because you are so very bright. You think all the time and you are so curious to know about how our realm works. Not very many children your age do that. That is why Thor was upset. He didn’t understand what you were doing and he won’t ever understand because you are special. You are so very wise and intelligent for someone so young. “

This caught Loki’s attention, “You mean…I am smarter than Thor?”

“Oh very! But you mustn’t tell anyone that! He will be jealous and hurt if you say that! That’s also why you do not get to meet too many other children. The others are not as intelligent or think as much as you…they will only slow you down. While you are growing with your knowledge, they will all be so far behind you. Your mother could tell that about you and she does not want your progress to be interrupted by such silly and unthinking children.”

Loki was entranced by her words. Come to think of it, he never saw any of Thor’s friends or other children in the palace reading, looking inside their toys, looking at the plants and the flowers outside. They were always running and screaming…did they never tire from it? Loki could read for hours and hours! He knew the name of every shrub in the Royal Garden and he still wanted to know more! Arna’s words were lodging themselves into his mind and firmly taking hold into his thoughts. _Yes…yes that makes sense…._

Arna could see the change in Loki’s expression. Encouraged, she continued, “Also, you are not missing anything when you are not going to feasts. You like to think and imagine things, do you not?”

Loki nodded enthusiastically but Arna kept speaking, “The Great Hall is so loud, you cannot even try to hear yourself think! All the men will drink too much and will behave like inconsiderate, dirty, and vile scoundrels! I never go for that very reason. They act as though they do not know right from wrong and will do whatever they please. I prefer to spend my time with you, reading and having quiet and intelligent conversations.”

Loki looked thoughtful for a moment and then started to slowly nod his head in agreement.  It did get rather loud and he felt far from the Hall itself. He also enjoyed when Arna told him stories that she knew or read him one from the many books in his room. Arna always answered his questions and looked interested in what he had to say. _Yes,_ he thought. _She must be right_.

When he looked up, the anger from before was gone from him and Arna swept him up in a hug. This was the thing Loki loved the very most. He loved being held by his Mother or by Arna. He never felt different from the others. More importantly, he never felt alone.  When Arna pulled back, she smoothed his hair. 

“You’re a special child, Loki. You are different but you mustn’t be afraid of that. You are not supposed to ‘be like them’. You are supposed to be yourself. My mother used to say that to me and no matter what anyone says about me, I do not mind because I am my own self.”

After he had been tucked into his bed, Arna told him fantastical stories of magic, maidens and warriors, and Loki began drifting off to sleep but not quite forgetting his wish to go to a Grand Feast.

* * *

 

A few weeks later, the tension between Loki and Thor had mostly diminished but Loki was still wary around his brother.  He made it a point to steer clear of Thor but observed him carefully from his window while Thor played with his friends. Loki began to make mental notes of what Thor seemed to like, not like, and what the other children were doing to be on Thor’s good side.  Based on what Loki saw, Thor loved being the winner and he was always the “hero”. Somehow, despite him not sharing his triumphant glories in games, he was incredibly well liked. If another child fell down, Thor helped them up. If a child began to cry, Thor cheered him or her up.  He laughed easily and threw himself into the games.

As Loki studied Thor’s behavior, he began learning on what he needed to do to avoid having Thor hit him again. Consequently, he began learning the behaviors of Thor’s friends like Fandral, Volstagg, Hogan, and Sif.  Loki began to make a game of it, watching from his window up above.  The more he watched them, the more he learned.

It was a particularly hot day in Asgard and Loki sat at his window as usual in the morning to watch the children. He was getting very uncomfortable in the heat but Arna had put his feet and hands in basins filled with cold water. He couldn’t understand why the heat made him feel so sick but if he was anywhere where it got too hot for him, he had to tell Arna or Mother straight away and taken to his rooms. He would feel clammy and like his skin was melting off of him. Sometimes his hands would turn an ugly shade of purple but somebody got him cooled down before much else happened. 

As Loki peered out his window, Thor was shockingly not playing at all. He was walking very quietly besides Odin. Loki felt his stomach churn with annoyance and jealousy. Odin never came to see Loki in his rooms nor did he ever ask for his company. However, upon taking a closer look, it looked like Thor was in trouble. Thor was walking and looking down with a serious expression while Odin seemed to be in a very one sided conversation.  Thor looked almost…almost resigned to something but he did nothing to show his unhappiness outwardly.  Loki’s curiosity was piqued and he was determined to find out what on Asgard did Thor do to look so unlike himself. 

Without looking away from the window, Loki called out “Arna? Can I play with Thor later today?”

 

Thor was very surprised but pleased that Loki had requested to play with him.  Loki was positively skittish around him and he never initiated meetings with him. Excited, Thor brought his best toys with him and asked Mother to put an unbreakable spell on them so if Loki couldn’t take them apart but they could still play.

 Loki was still a bit shy but he agreeably played the parts Thor assigned him to and not once did he attempt to take apart the toy soldiers. Why, he didn’t even get upset if Thor “defeated” his army. Thor beamed with pride when Loki congratulated him on how well he played. Loki smiled to himself when he saw how Thor took in his obsequious praise. Fandral always got on Thor’s good side when he praised him this way and it worked nicely for him.  Now…time to work in his questions.

“What did you play with Fandral and Volstagg yesterday? Were Sif and Hogan there too?” Loki asked innocently.

Thor shook his head. “No. Father told me he needed to speak to me.”

Loki was careful to not sound too interested. Rather, he tried a completely different tactic. “Father never wants to talk to me…I don’t see him very much at all.” Loki remembered in one of the stories that Arna had read to him of a young warrior who deceived a great witch at the entrance of a cave by pretending to be a sad and harmless little traveler. The ploy for sympathy had worked beautifully for the warrior and perhaps it would work for him. He was not wrong.

 “Oh, it wasn’t very interesting. Father was telling me what to do again! He always does that and I hate it!”

“What did he want?”

“He told me I had to go the stupid Honor Feast for Skadi. She is scary to me but he said I ‘would do well to pay tribute to her…especially when you’re King,” Thor imitated Odin in an overly pompous voice. He grinned at Loki’s apparent amusement at his impersonation.

Loki was disappointed. He was hoping to hear something much better like Thor having to scrub floors with the washer maids.

“I wish I could go to a Feast once. If I could go, we could talk to each other and you wouldn’t be bored…but Father would never let me.”

Thor was quiet for a moment and then he suddenly lit up. “I’ll sneak you in! Nobody will see you! You can hide under the table and I’ll give you food and everything! Father will never know!”

 “But if Father finds me? Will he not be angry with us both?”

Thor waved his hand. “He will not be angry because he will not find you! You mustn’t worry so much, Loki! Nobody will play with you if you are always worried!”

Loki bristled at that statement but he just got his wish to go to the feast and upsetting Thor would mean he couldn’t go anymore. He begrudgingly swallowed his annoyance and gave a half shrug.  He made sure to remember that comment. While he lacked Thor’s size and strength, he knew he had in guile and wit. Without those things, he would never survive.

 

* * *

 

 

Arna was not exaggerating when she said the Great Hall was loud. Loki wanted to instantly clap his hands over his ears when he entered into the room, hiding under a covered cart that was wheeled in.  He told Arna an hour earlier that he was not feeling well and his head was aching. He wanted to go to bed early. With that being said, Loki waited for Arna to leave his chamber. Once he was sure he was gone, he arranged and tucked his pillows and drew his covers over them.

Of course, he had learned it from one of the books Arna had read to him when he was younger.  Long ago, he had found that there was a small door inside his wardrobe. That door led him down a dark set of stairs and into the kitchens.  It was not getting caught by the kitchen staff that would be tricky.  He was luckily able to find a small serving cart that had a large cloth draped over it. His heart leapt with delight as he was being wheeled out.

Immediately, the noise was deafening. _Maybe Arna was right,_ he thought to himself.  The dissonance of the hall was so unlike anything he had heard and it was unpleasant to say the very least.  _Perhaps the food will be good._ He silently pleaded this to himself as he slipped off the cart. There was far too much occurring for anyone to notice him.  Loki forgot for a moment that he was supposed to be discreet and he stood out in the open, staring wide-eyed at everything happening. He had never seen such…he couldn’t even come up with the word for it.

So many people dressed in their finest clothes. The shouts, the laughter, the scraping of table, and the hard “thunks” of tankard after tankard slamming down on the long tables. There were countless soldiers and warriors roaring cries of victory when a compatriot would messily chug a tankard of mead and then slam it down.  There was so much chaos occurring that Loki could do anything he wanted at that moment and no one would be any wiser.

The sights, sounds, and smells were not of interest to him. It was the diversion of it all. An enemy could wander in here and no one would know! Loki turned suddenly and caught sight of his father. Odin was unlike Loki had ever seen him. He was laughing heartily at something his advisor was saying. He was so relaxed and was waving his hand for more libations. Odin was not wearing his traditional armor as he often did but a resplendent red tunic. His fingers were heavily laden in gold rings. He looked the very picture of decadence.

Odin was unrecognizable to Loki. Normally he was so stern and watchful but his guard was completely down. Loki wasn’t sure if he liked seeing Odin like this. He did feel a bit more comfortable when he saw his mother. Frigga was also dressed beautifully in a green and gold gown. She looked so regal in those colors and she was quietly observing the crowds. Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes and she kept looking towards a door. Loki suddenly remembered that Frigga went to visit him before and after feasts. Was she waiting to leave so she could see him?

If that was the case, he needed to hurry. Loki saw Thor and quietly slipped behind his chair. He tapped his brother on the shoulder and put a finger to his lips. Mercifully, Thor understood to be quiet and made room for Loki to squeeze in under the table. Frigga looked over sharply at her fidgeting older son but he merely smiled at her. She said nothing and resumed her watch at the door. Thor grinned at Loki who slipped in.

“How do you like it so far, brother?”

Loki gave a small shrug, “I do not know what to say. It is much too loud, though!”  

Thor laughed heartily. It was almost eerie to Loki how similar Thor and Odin were when they laughed. Loki knew full well he was incapable of sounding like that when he laughed (on the rare occasion when he did) and it only showed further why Odin seemed to prefer Thor over him.  “Oh Loki! That’s the best part! Everyone is having fun! Being quiet is boring!”

Loki didn’t quite agree there but it was all very fascinating. As he sat under the table, he peeked out and watched everything.

There were warriors whisking maidens off into dances, groups of people sitting off to the side having animated conversations, children running about the tables. The smells of the food were delicious. It was not as though Loki did not get to eat well either but it all seemed extra special because it was meant for a feast. Not one person (save for Mother) looked to be unhappy.

Why did Father keep him away from all this? What was so wrong about coming to these feasts? He could completely tell that Father was lying to him about him being much too young to attend the feasts. There were children younger than him here!  They were all so happy and he was forced to stay in his rooms, alone and forgotten about. He felt a sharp kick to his lower back.

He turned and scowled but it melted off when he saw Thor’s large hand offering him a roasted chicken leg. Eagerly, he took it and bit down. Oh, it was perfect! So much better than what he normally ate. All his food was cooled considerably but still tasty when he got to eat. Yet this…it tasted so much better hot. He would have been angrier about being made to eat cold food but the chicken was so delicious that he gobbled it down as fast as possible. He was behaving like he had not eaten it days. When he finished, he decided he wanted another. Grinning, he poked Thor on the shin and waved his hand for more food. Just as he saw Thor’s hand descending with another chicken leg, he froze upon hearing Mother’s voice.

“Thor! What on Asgard are you doing? Why are you throwing food under the table?” she asked sharply.

“Please Mother, there is only a small animal I found earlier. He is hungry!” Thor pleaded.

“YOU BROUGHT AN ANIMAL INTO THE GREAT HALL?” Her voice rose but not out of wanting to be heard over the din.

“But Mother…”

“Take it outside right now! You may play with animals outside but not in here! You know better!”

“Ah, Frigga! Let the boy alone!” Odin interjected.  “Tonight is for merriment and joy! We need not concern ourselves with anything! Let him play!” Odin’s voice slurred slightly.

Frigga stared coldly for a moment but said nothing. She shook her head at Thor but turned her attention away again.

Loki sighed with relief. He snatched the chicken leg and perished it like he had the first one. He tugged on Thor’s trouser leg again.

“What else is there to eat?”

Thor looked around nervously before motioning not to worry.  Quietly, he began tossing down pieces of warm bread and a few small cakes. Loki almost never ate this much but the food was delicious and tasted so fresh. As he continued to eat, he began to feel warm on the inside. Loki decided this meant he was full. Still, there was still plenty to see and he resumed watching the dancing.

His eyes widened with surprise when he saw Mother and Father descend and Father twirling her across the floor. Now, even she could no longer keep her stern countenance anymore and she was openly laughing. As Loki watched his parents, he couldn’t help but feel warmer and warmer. He tugged on his clothes but it did very little to make him more comfortable.

Why was it getting so hot? The room was warm when he entered yes but it seemed to be like a small oven where he was sitting. His head began to swim and he was feeling horribly clammy. Loki began to feel nauseous and felt the urge to lie down. The noise and the heat coupled together were making him feel worse and he began to feel panic. He needed to get out of here right away.

He weakly turned to get Thor’s attention but Thor was not there anymore. Oh Norns…where had Thor gone? He needed help and he felt his skin grow slick with sweat all over. The sounds were pounding loudly in his head and it just seemed to be getting hotter and hotter. He felt bile rise in his throat and his mouth tasted so unpleasant. What was happening to him? Loki could barely register that Thor had returned and then he thought he heard a sharp gasp.

“Loki?! Loki, what is wrong with you? You’re...you’re…MOTHER COME NOW!” Thor shouted!

Frigga was still dancing with Odin but she felt a hard tug on her gown. Thor’s face was white as a sheet and he looked terrified.

“It is Loki! You have to come! He is…”

The nervous servant from earlier had made an unfortunate pass when he saw a bluish purple hand from under the table.  He lifted the tablecloth and screamed, “FROST GIANT! IT’s A FROST GIANT!!!”

Frigga froze and half the room erupted in terror.  Odin didn’t even need to think when he bolted to the table. He felt intense horror when he saw Loki trembling under the table, his eyes barely able to stay open but he was a furious shade of purple blue. Frigga came running and swept her son up.  Luckily for her, everyone was attempting to escape so she was able to grab Thor and Loki and ran out a small side door. Odin stood still among the panic. Anger and mortification spread through him. _They all know…everyone knows and we are finished.”_

* * *

 

Arna was sitting and quietly finishing her embroidery. She could hear the shouting from the Great Hall but she rolled her eyes in contempt. It was all such a waste, in her opinion. So many Asgardians went on hungry and all the upper class nobles did was eat to such excess and what generous amount remained was thrown away with no thought. She knew what it was to be hungry, to wonder when she could feed herself again. They knew nothing of it! They all loved their decadence and never thought once who gave it to them all in the first place! Hardworking Asgardians who slaved away and gave them more money than they should in taxes and so called “protection fees” and only for them to barely fill their stomachs while everyone above them with a title ate someone else’s food and threw it away!

The door flung open and Queen Frigga came in, Thor had tears running down his face and he look terrified. What was more shocking was Queen Frigga was carrying Loki in her arms, her expression beyond anger.

“What. Were. You. Doing?! Did you not watch him?! ANSWER ME!!!”

“Majesty! What happened? I put him to bed! I stayed with him till he fell asleep! He was in his room when I left him and he was still in his bed when I came to see if he was hungry! I do not…” she faltered. Oh no…the little prince left his room but how? He would have to pass by her if he wanted to leave! 

Frigga gave her the ugliest look Arna had ever seen. She strode into his room and when she entered, Frigga saw exactly what happened. The boy tricked his nanny. She also saw the carpet hastily pushed over the floor where Loki must have found a passageway to escape Arna. She wanted so much to stay angry with the nanny but she was not entirely to blame.  However, she had a mess of an evening and it was time to fix things first. She turned to Arna who was just as pale and Thor was and she looked about to dissolve into tears.

“Do you know the spell to remove memory?” she asked sharply.

“What? Oh, yes I do!”

“Remove the elder prince’s from tonight. He does not know about his brother’s lineage nor shall he know before the younger knows anything.”

Arna did not need telling twice. She quickly escorted Thor out of the room. Frigga turned her attention to Loki. _I am a fool, a fool to think you would never wander away or come to look for us. Who would honestly think that a small boy would stay only where he was told to stay? Locking him up and hiding him away was a fool’s errand._ Sighing, Frigga used her magic to change Loki back to his “Aesir-Vanir” form.  She felt like weeping when she saw him take back his pseudo-form. It was all their fault for not letting him be himself.

Frigga forced herself to part from him. She had an immense amount of work to do tonight. Just as she was leaving, she heard Loki’s voice weakly call out to her.

“Mother? Are you there?”

“Yes, darling I am. You are not well right now. I will have Arna come to give your cold cloth.”

“I want you to stay. Please Mother. I…I am sorry I did not listen.”

“I will come back and I will sleep here tonight. I must go help your father. I will be back soon, I promise.”

Frigga would not allow herself to dwell on her lonely little boy. She needed to save him from the hands of her people first.

 

Odin, however, had wisely managed to close all doors and no one was allowed to leave. They were in fear of the Frost Giant that roamed the Palace. The servant had been taken away after he gave way to unconsciousness.

“All-Father! Is it true that there is a Frost Giant here?” cried out a noblewoman.

Odin shook his head. “The servant was mistaken! He will be dealt with swiftly for the terror he caused!” His voice was full of authority and command.

“Where is Queen Frigga? She was seen leaving swiftly out of the room! She had something in her arms and it wasn’t Prince Thor!”

Odin rose to his full height, immediately silencing the nervous murmurings in the room. “My Queen went to do what any responsible mother would do in the event of unrest. She went to see if our youngest child was safe. You all know that Prince Loki is not well and must remain in the Northern Wing. She was carrying an injured child that one of you must have trampled upon in the commotion. Prince Thor is with her as we speak.”

Everyone remained silent but some were still doubtful.  Odin continued to speak, “The safety of all who enter this palace is of highest regard. The palace is guarded by the finest soldiers and we would long been aware if anything had escaped past them. Besides, would the Sounder of Gjallarhorn not have alerted us if there was an enemy amongst us?”

This began to reassure the people greatly. After all, Odin-King was a great and protective ruler. He had single-handedly wiped out the Jotun armies from eight decades before. It would take millennia before they could even think to rise up against Asgard again.  Also, Heimdall was always on watch. He would sound his great Horn before anything came to them.  Their reassurance intensified when Queen Frigga reentered the room.

As praised and well-liked the All-Father was, Queen Frigga was the more popular of the couple. Though she did not have the title, the people affectionately called her the All-Mother. When she came to them, everyone felt that their “mother” had come.  She surveyed the room and spoke in a loud and clear voice.

“There is nothing to fear. The servant who cried out that there was a Frost Giant mistook a serpent that Prince Thor had found earlier. Naturally, the prince wanted to keep it as a pet and brought it into the Great Hall. We will have his superior speak to him about the panic he has caused. Asgard is safe from Jotunheim. Both princes are safe and in their beds now. Before you all leave, I will place a protective spell upon all of you. You will all feel much better afterward.”

The people all murmured in agreement and were pleased that the foolish servant would be dealt with. What an idiot to cause such a damper on the feast like this!  They all waited for Frigga and she silently conjured the spell to wipe their memory from two hours prior. The hall was immediately silent.

Then suddenly a warrior cried out for more drink to be served. It was stunning how everyone immediately reverted back to their carefree selves and resumed their feast as if nothing happened. Odin was the only one who did not receive the spell but his mood was considerably dampened. Loki caused serious danger to himself and the family tonight.  However, getting rid of him would defeat the purpose of why he even brought him to Asgard in the first place.  There was nothing else they could do but find a spell that would not allow him to become a Jotun again. He would personally seek out a seidkonur to do something about this. The boy could not risk them any more harm again.

 


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 

“I thank you all for convening with me.” Odin began solemnly. In truth, he was not thankful at all. In truth, he felt the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. Currently, he was standing in a secret chamber of the palace with some of the most powerful seidkonur of Asgard. Even with Frigga amongst them, these women frightened him. Everyone knew that making deals with seidkonur was dangerous. Every word had to be spoken carefully. There was to be no room for misinterpretation when speaking to seidkonur. They were cunning and would easily manipulate the bargains made with them to benefit themselves.

However…times were desperate and Odin was the All-Father. It also didn’t help that most of the seidknour were the ugliest and most foul looking women Odin had ever seen. They were not ashamed of their ugliness. Rather, they reveled in it. They loved watching others tremble before them in fear of how terrible they looked.  It was the oldest seidkonur, Gunhild, who was the most unsettling. Still, she was the one to have as an ally. Her seidr made Frigga’s look like children’s work. No easy feat, to say the least.  

“So Odin-King…you choose to convene with me and without mine husband?” asked Gunhild. Odin inwardly winced at the sound of her voice. It was raspy yet in sounded jarring and dragged loudly upon his ears. As dreadful as Gunhild was, her husband was another matter altogether. Odin drew himself upright and hardened his expression. He refused to be intimidated by this old hag!

“I extended forth my invitation to him! It is Eldred who refused a place at my table!” Odin boomed.

Gunhild and all the other seidkonur laughed aloud. His eyes briefly flicked at Frigga’s.  Neither said anything but they both knew exactly what both were thinking. The laughter was enough to make their ears bleed. High, harsh, and full of malice.

Gunhild continued to cackle, “Aye. That he did! He has little interest in any trifling request that Odin-King makes. But I had to see for myself. It has been long since you or your kin have summoned me.”

Odin drew a breath. _Her words are meant to anger me…I shall not bend to her._ “My request is not a small one. My lady wife and Queen has worked tirelessly to find the solution to our problem but alas, she cannot do so. It was her idea to convene with you and invite you to our great house.”

The seidkonur all erupted into laughter again. They had little respect or regard for Odin but it was for Frigga that they had come. She was, after all, Gunhild’s niece and a favorite of the seidkonur.

Gunhild turned her attention away from Odin and looked fondly upon her niece. “Now, my child, you have called upon me. You say it is your son who ails but how can that be so? Why, I saw the lad and he is large and strong for his age. What ails him?”

Frigga told Gunhild the story of Loki. As Gunhild listened, her face became harder with annoyance. When Frigga finished speaking, Gunhild let out a wild snarl and glared at Odin.

“Fool of a male! You think that the answer to your problem is to change the boy?! You never should have taken him. You take him for your greed but let him rot in a chamber? “

“I did not take him for my greed! I took him to protect the realm in which you, your husband, and sisters remain in! You tell me, seidkonur, will you be saying such when you are violated by the Jotun? Will you say it to me when you are enslaved to create evil things for monsters that shall turn upon their mother and consume you before you can even breathe?! Tell me, witch! “ Odin roared with such a fury that some of the younger seidkonur reared back. Even Gunhild was taken aback at the force of Odin’s words and the volume of it. 

Gunhild rose to her full height but was stopped short by Frigga’s hand. “Aunt of mine, my husband claims it is to protect the realm but I ask it of you to protect the boy. He will not survive if it is known that he is the son of an enemy of Asgard. He will be murdered and cut apart, paraded in the street for all to mock and scorn. My Loki is only a child and….and I would not see him die so cruelly and at a young age.” 

Gunhild softened. She too, mothered a great many and understood what it was to lose one’s young. She sat back down and was silent.  At last she spoke.

“It will take time. We ask for three suns’ time before we shall present a solution. We do not believe it is right to permanently change his form but we can stop these little…accidents from happening again.”

Frigga gratefully bowed her head at her aunt. “Name your price, Aunt. What shall I give you in exchange for this favor?”

Gunhild smiled wickedly at Odin. “You must invite us into your hall when we desire to come. You must also never refuse what we bestow upon the child.”

The seidkonur laughed conspiratorially amongst themselves. Frigga was unsure of this favor and looked at Odin. Seidkonur often veiled their intentions with words that sound well but actually meant something entirely different.  A “gift” could actually be a curse upon them.

Odin stood still. “What gift do you intend to give Loki?”

Gunhild let out an ear-splitting shriek of laughter. “Whatever we decide, Odin-King. Have we not an agreement? You consent to this and we return in three years with a way to end your problem. Once and for all.”

Odin and Frigga did not have much time or many options. There also was the repercussion that refusing a seidkonur meant a great curse upon their house, although they were the ones that were summoned and the sensible thing would be to move along.   Still, a solution in three months compared to disastrous results since Loki was brought into their home would be worth the endeavor. Frigga had been insisting on calling forth the seidkonur for a long while but Odin hesitated due to the risk that the seidkonur brought with them.  After the recent disaster with the feast and it was drawing close to the time for Loki to formally begin his education in the Royal Academy, Odin knew there was nothing else they could do.

Odin stared firmly at Gunhild, who was still chuckling at the predicament Odin now faced himself in. _Hateful bitch,_ he thought angrily. _I should have her head mounted on my wall for this insolence!_

“We are at an accord. We expect you to arrive again in three suns’ with the solution you claim will work. It will not bode well for you if it does not work.”

Gunhild snarled again and the other seidonur shrieked with fury. “You dare threaten me, Son of Bor?!”

Odin had enough. He struck his staff hard against the ground and a blinding, white shielding light and a horrible sound blasted through the chamber. The seidkonur screamed in agony as their ears and eyes were impacted by the blast. 

“Silence!!! I am the All-Father of this realm. You are under my protection and are subject of my rule! You forget your place, Wife of Eldred! I speak to you as I wish! As your king, I demand your best! Show me your insolence again and I will cut out your tongue and feed it to the beasts that guard your house!”

Gunhild glared at Odin but she knew baiting the All-Father was not wise. She was (unfortunately for her) indebted to him and making an enemy of her niece was not something that interested her either.

She continued to glare at Odin and then nodded curtly. With that, she and the seidkonur vanished without any trace being left behind.  Frigga took in a deep breath and Odin walked out of the room purposefully. The next three years were going to be difficult but soon, soon enough would her dear son be able to live normally.

 

* * *

 

It was well understood that Loki would not be able to attend a formal school like the Royal Academy. He received informal education from Arna but that was quickly proving to not be enough and he was learning at a very fast rate.  Frigga would clap with joy after Loki would recite an epic Asgardian poem or complete a difficult sum. Still, Loki had a great deal more to learn but with his “condition” he was prohibited from going to school. This was a particularly contentious issue between Odin and Loki.

Recently, Odin would make himself visit Loki in his chambers once a week. If he was being completely honest, the time spent with his younger son was not so bad at all. The boy was bright and eager to please. It often felt like he was not talking to a small boy but to a young adult. Still, he had to remember to be mindful that this was, indeed, the son of his great enemy. There was every likelihood Loki could manifest his Jotun behavior and turn against the family.  Lately, Loki was asking to go to the Royal Academy more than ever. Each time, Odin denied him and Loki would throw the most epic of tantrums. Before, he would try to cajole, flatter, manipulate, beg, and plead for Odin to allow him but it never worked. When Loki began screaming, Odin simply walked out.  Unfortunately for him, it was becoming a bigger problem for him as Frigga was beginning to lecture him over how Loki needed to start going to school, how he had such poor social skills, needed to experience Asgard and so on.

After a particularly brutal tantrum that Frigga was a witness to, Frigga invited Arna for tea in the garden after Loki had been soothed. Arna came at least an hour late and looked exhausted.

“I apologize for my lateness, Majesty. The little Master is getting harder and harder to soothe. He is growing older and is aware of the differences between himself and your older son.”

Frigga nodded ruefully and motioned for the servant to begin serving tea. “ I thank you for your patience in all of this, Arna.  What you say makes complete sense and I wish things could be different. I must ask, what is your opinion on Loki going to school?”

Arna sighed. She had kept silent on the matter but Loki should have been receiving formal education years ago. She had done her best to teach him what she could but she knew that she wasn’t qualified to teach him anything past basic school knowledge. As a prince, Loki was supposed to have extensive education and taught by the best of teachers. In the Royal Academy, Loki would be learning many skills to help him learn leadership roles and responsibilities. He would learn how to interact with other people and listen to their needs. Instead, the boy was rereading the same books over and over again and he had no idea how to interact with people outside of herself, his parents, his brother, and the brother’s nursemaid.

“I understand why you and the All-Father are unwilling to put him in school but he needs a qualified teacher right away. He needs to meet someone outside of the Royal Household soon. He is a polite boy, yes but you saw how angry he was when he did not get his way. He does not understand diplomacy or accept that he cannot always have what he wants.  Even Thor is beginning to understand this, as competitive as he is because he is meeting other children. School is a very important part of a child’s life and Loki is unable to take part in this. “

Frigga listened and agreed fully with everything that Arna was saying. Loki did seriously lack in having social skills but his safety could be compromised if he went to school. The seidkonur had not presented their solution yet and there was no guarantee that it would even work the first time around. They could not wait three years, even though it wasn’t for very long on their realm.  Still, Loki needed his education and perhaps he could learn to socialize through a stranger.

“What do you think of private instructor? It is what the Royals used to do before the Academy was established and in truth, it is how I received my education. “suggested Frigga.

 _Yes, but you are not a frost giant living among Asgardians nor are your parents lying to you on who you are,_ thought Arna in an annoyed way. Of course, saying so out loud would ruin her job and even though she was allowed to speak candidly with her employer, there was still a deep line of what was acceptable to say to her.

“I suppose…but I still think he should be with other children.” Arna insisted.

Frigga sighed with exasperation. Was Arna being clueless? Not everyone felt as kindly or merciful towards frost giants like she did.

“He will be once we have found our way to keep him from changing form permanently,“ she said flatly.

“It may be too late by then, your Majesty! He needs to be around children unlike him in order to thrive! He-“

“Lady Arna! I have heard your input but I am his mother. His safety is paramount to me and enrolling him in a school with the sons and daughters of soldiers and councilmen is not in his best interest!”

Arna wanted to protest this again but she decided to keep her mouth shut. Sometimes she felt like she was the only one who really understood Loki. The queen was well intentioned but she didn’t understand Loki like she did. 

Frigga spoke again but with forced patience. “I know you wish for him to thrive but firstly, I need to make sure he is safe to do so. Now, please tell me if you know the name of a tutor who is trustworthy and can be of help to us.”

Arna thought for a moment and then smiled a bit. “As a matter of fact, I do, your Majesty. I think he would suit Prince Loki quite well. His name is Iwaldi Gendinson.  ”

 

Odin and Frigga sat across the tall man in the Council Chambers. The man sat with excellent posture, wore his beard neatly and close to the face. His skin was the color of deep gold sand, full of character and intelligence. This was the tutor that Arna had recommended and so far, Odin liked him greatly. He was competent and to the point. He did not speak foolishly and was very well versed in a variety of subjects. Odin was also impressed by his lineage, as Iwaldi came from a line of scholars.

“I would have recommended you highly to be the headmaster in the Royal Academy. Yet, I see that you were not in Asgard for a great while. Where were you, Son of Gendin?”

Iwaldi cleared his throat and spoke in a mild voice, “Vanaheim, my goodly King. I had set my home there and married a maiden. She bore me a daughter and a son. My wife succumbed to illness and I raise my children alone. They are still very young and I have no means to provide for them other than my own skill of farming and hunting. It is not sustainable as the winter months draw near.

Frigga quite liked this tutor that Arna had chosen as well. He seemed to be a responsible sort but now she needed to know how he would take to tutoring their son and his special circumstance.

As Frigga explained the situation, Iwaldi’s eyes widened in shock but quickly returned to attentive listening. The boy didn’t sound dangerous at all. Rather…Iwaldi began to feel a great deal of pity for the boy in the gilded cage.  Loneliness was a pain that so few could truly cure and even then…those who could cure would leave, willingly or unwillingly. The boy was left to languish so early and it didn’t seem right at all. He couldn’t be too dangerous in the state he was in, could he? _Well…Arna is still alive and well so he cannot be as bad as all that._

Iwaldi agreed to becoming Loki’s tutor and took an oath of secrecy to never tell anyone of Loki’s heritage. Frigga then led Iwaldi down a series of passageways, dark and dank. She knocked smartly upon a large door in a certain pattern. Arna answered the door cheerfully and embraced him upon his entrance. It had been long since he had seen his kin but it was well enough to have a familiar and friendly face in the castle.

As he entered the room fully, Iwaldi saw a young boy with dark hair and pale white skin playing upon the floor with an automaton. Well, he was taking it apart and was attempting to rewire it. The boy’s face was furrowed in concentration, his tongue poking out of the right corner of his lip. He closed the front of the automaton after screwing something inside of it and he turned the key to see if it would walk. Sure enough, the automaton was walking rather steadily on its own! He beamed with pride and turned to Arna.

“Arna! It works at last! Look! He’s walking!”

Arna smiled with genuine delight. “So it is! Now, do you know what I mean by perseverance?”

Loki nodded, “Yes. It does not help to get angry but rather, to try again.”

His expression changed upon seeing the strange tall man in his room. He stared but did not look terribly upset at the man’s presence. Not even afraid, rather he was looking on curiously.

“Who is this?” he asked in a shockingly direct manner. Frigga’s eyes widened in alarm at her son’s behavior. Oh dear…Loki was never really taught how to be introduced to people.

To her great relief, Iwaldi smiled politely and gave a bow of respect, “My name is Iwaldi Gendinson. What is your name, young man?” Of course, he knew full well what the boy’s name was but it was important that Loki learn how to introduce himself.

Loki stared at all the other adults in the room. What was he supposed to? Arna leaned down and whispered in his ear to introduce himself.

“I am Loki…Son of Odin” he responded hesitantly.

Iwaldi bowed once more. He informed Loki without any prentense or flattery that he was Loki’s new teacher and would be working with him.

“Can you explain to me what you have done to make the automaton work? I am very curious to know. “ Iwaldi asked.

Loki looked around again. What on Asgard was going on? Nobody (except Arna and his mother) seemed interested in the things he did. He watched in amazement as his new teacher seated himself beside him. Loki began to hesitantly explain what he had done and Iwaldi listened intently. He began to ask Loki complicated questions about the mechanisms and gears. The two became deeply immersed in their conversation that neither of them noticed Odin, Frigga, and Arna leave the room smiling to one another. 

 

* * *

 

From then on, Loki began to meet with Iwaldi daily from early morning to late afternoon. Iwaldi did not particularly conform to the descriptions that Thor had described his own teachers to be like. Iwaldi asked Loki a great deal of questions and insisted most of the lessons take place in the gardens (a large area had been sectioned off just for this purpose). When not outdoors, Iwaldi would present a scenario to Loki and would leave him to look through the books in the library or nothing at all. He would leave for several hours and return to see what Loki’s answer was. 

Of course, aside from his non-orthodox teaching methods, he taught Loki the subjects that Loki would need to learn as an Asgardian royal. He learned the histories, politics, courtly manners (which Loki thought were tedious and stupid), philosophy, and cultures of the Nine Realms. Everything Thor would have to know as the future king of Asgard, Loki learned as well. Weeks turned to months and Loki idolized his teacher.  In turn, Iwaldi saw Loki not as a student or a prince but as his equal.  Loki would stay up late in the night, reading the books and verses Iwaldi would recommend. He practiced the engineering diagrams that Iwaldi showed him or build his own models and mechanical devices. 

Loki never wanted to be unprepared for Iwaldi and he craved his teacher’s praises. For some reason, Iwaldi’s compliments meant far more to him than when Arna or his mother praised him. It was almost as though both women praised him out of habit (although he quite liked it). With Iwaldi, he felt that he earned it by himself. Iwaldi did not dole it out like the way Fandral praised Thor, that was for certain.  Not only did Iwaldi teach Loki what princes were supposed to learn, he taught Loki a great deal about life and about people. Loki hung on to every word his teacher said and committed them to memory. 

While Frigga and Odin were pleased that Loki was progressing wonderfully with his new tutor, they were noticing he was speaking much less and reading much more. Reading was a wonderful thing to be sure, but getting Loki to come away from his books was becoming difficult.  Frigga recommended to Odin that Loki, Thor, herself and Odin all begin to eat dinner privately as a family on any night that wasn’t a feast night. On the nights which feasts were held, Thor, Frigga, and Odin were to visit Loki and sit with him while he ate his dinner. Odin, for once, actually agreed that Loki’s increasing silence was becoming a problem and many people were asking too many questions about the nature of Loki’s illness. He would need to introduce him to the court soon and having an ill-mannered second son would reflect poorly on him and Frigga. 

One particular evening, Loki was shuffling food onto his plate, trying to create the illusion that he had eaten more than he had. Loki’s mind remained with a tome on Midgardian legends and tales.  He was only half listening to Odin telling Frigga about the foreign relations deadlock he was expected to mediate between Svartalfheim and Nidavellir. Tensions had risen between the two realms again over the gold in NIdavellir and Odin, being the sovereign of the most powerful realm, was expected to stop a war between them.  Neither realm was particularly interested in a diplomatic solution, despite ongoing meetings with ambassadors and councilmen for days.

“The two most volatile realms wield swords and spears to one another’s necks and I must step in between them, “ sighed an exasperated Odin.

“Buy them off…” Loki muttered, staring into his plate.

Frigga and Odin stopped eating and stared at one another. They both turned and looked at Loki.

“What did you say?” asked Odin, interest piqued.

“Buy them off. Open a trading route to Svartalfheim while promising the protection of armed forces to Nidavellir. “

Odin stared with wonder at Loki. “Loki…who told you that?”

Loki shrugged. “I read about it in a book about Midgard. It does not always work but it does sometimes.”

Odin sat back in his chair and turned over Loki’s words in his head.  It was a simple enough answer and although he would have to give more than what Loki was suggesting, it was the best solution he had heard so far.  He felt a tremendous weight rise from his shoulders and it was replaced with a profound sense of respect for his younger son. The boy was truly surprising and perhaps one he should not underestimate in the future.

“Well done, Loki. I am very impressed. Yes…I believe I shall bring this up to the council. You are very wise for your age, my son. Thank you.”

Loki stared at Odin in shock. His father was proud of him?  Loki wanted to throw his arms around his father but all he could do was stammer that his father was welcome.  

He had done it. Without even trying he had made his father proud and nothing, not even praise from Iwaldi could replicate the joy he felt in his heart. It was such a rush that he wanted to do it again.  Frigga gave Loki a kiss and ruffled his hair affectionately. Even Thor smiled and gave Loki a hearty clap on the back. “Well done, brother! This means you are smarter than father’s council! You are smarter than that old Bragi who follows Father around all the time!”

Loki and Thor both burst into laughter at that. Loki did not go to bed that night. All he could think of was for once, he was happy to not have spent his night reading alone in his room but being with his family.


	5. Chapter 4

 

“Now, I want you to think about this carefully. There is no right or wrong answer but I wish for you to give me a valid reason for what you choose.  You are the King of Asgard and before you is a notorious thief. He has robbed many households and businesses. The people of Asgard wish to see him executed for the crimes he has committed. However, he tells you that he has robbed to provide for the poorest children of Asgard. These children have no means of attaining supplies and goods on their own and survive on the thief’s kindness. Do you execute him per the wishes of the people or let him live because his crime was well intentioned?”

Loki answered straightaway. “I would let him live. The children must be able to eat.”

Iwaldi frowned at Loki. “You made that decision rather quickly. You do not have any questions about the well-being of those he robbed from? Has he not hurt the well-being of those he has stolen from?”

Loki was puzzled. “You said there was no right or wrong answer!” he protested.

“Aye, that I did. However, I did not want you to just make any decision. It is unwise to make choices without all the information and considering the thoughts of others.  Besides, your people insist you kill him and not doing so will damage your reputation as king.”

Loki gave a scoff of derision, “Well, that will not be my problem. I am not going to be king. Thor is older.”

Iwaldi shook his head, “Just because your brother is older does not mean he is necessarily competent. I do not wish to insult your brother but…he would be one to not consider all options before making a decision. You are much too intelligent to think brashly, Loki. Think about what I said again and I want to know what your answer tomorrow morning.”

“May I ask others what they think?”

“I did not say you could not.”

Loki was silent for a moment, mulling over what his teacher told him. “Must I give you an answer based on those two choices or can I say something different?”

Iwaldi smiled. “I would be pleased if you did. Remember Loki, you must look past my words and think of what I have not said. So long as you can defend your decisions and convince me of your choice, then you will have learned a valuable lesson in leadership.”

“What would you do then?” Loki asked

Iwaldi chuckled, “You cannot ask me yet. You must decide on your own.”

Loki scowled a bit, “You said that I could ask others what they think. Remember? You said to think of what you did not say and you did not specify earlier who I can and cannot ask!”

Iwaldi threw back his head and laughed, “Clever boy! Yes I did say those things but for now, you cannot ask me until after you have given me your answer. Well done, Loki. You must always pay attention to what people say.”

Loki had to smile at this even if he did not get the answer he was looking for. He loved these sorts of questions Iwaldi would ask him. In the beginning it was frustrating when Iwaldi gave him vague or unhelpful hints of what to do. Still, the questions were challenging and Loki would spend hours trying to find the answer. He would not even realize how much time would pass since his mind was so deeply occupied. The questions were getting harder and harder but Iwaldi also taught Loki how to think critically.   Iwaldi resumed his lessons with Loki, not bringing up the scenario again.  After Iwaldi left for the day, Loki began questioning anyone he could but none of the answers were satisfactory.  Arna said the same that she would spare the thief. Frigga and Odin were on their way to Vanaheim for a special ceremony and wouldn’t have an answer for Loki until they returned (which passed his deadline), so Loki thought to ask Thor.

“I would spare him. Children must eat in order to live. “ Thor announced as soon as Loki asked him.

“What of the merchants and people he stole from?” asked Loki.

“They are well off enough that it should not bother them.” Thor dismissed.

“Then why do have laws against stealing from anyone then? Is it not wrong, no matter what?” insisted Loki.

 “It is but the merchants should not be so selfish towards the children. They have more money and should share it.”

“But as royalty, do we not have more money than the merchants? Should we not take care of the children then? We do not give money to the poor. In fact, we take it from them. “ Loki mused.

Thor was getting tired of this question now. “Yes, but we protect them with the money they give us. Father told me that taxes were meant to pay for services that all Asgardians benefit from. Paying taxes means we have an army and law-enforcers to protect the people.”

“But if we have to protect the people…should we not protect them from people who rob the citizens?” asked Loki.

Thor erupted. “Loki! This question is stupid! The answer is probably very simple but you are making it harder than necessary!”

“You cannot just give up! What would happen if you were king and this very thing happened while you were on the throne?” Loki argued.

Thor scoffed, “I would consult with my advisers. That is what they are there for.”

Loki smiled smugly. “And what if your advisers say exactly what I say?”

Thor rolled his eyes and stalked off. The game was tiresome now and he had better things to do.

 

Still, Loki had not gotten anywhere near an answer. Loki stayed up nearly all night trying to come up with an answer. Upon Arna’s suggestion, Loki read through various books on Asgardian laws but they were all so vague and complicated to read. He felt he didn’t have enough information based on what Iwaldi told him.  The next morning, Iwaldi asked for his answer.

Instead of providing an answer, Loki asked a series of questions.

“Did the thief physically harm anyone he stole from?”

“He did…but it was in self-defense.”

“How many people has he stolen from?”

“Mainly three people, but he stole a great deal from them and they are the richest merchants in Asgard.”

“Does he keep anything for himself?”

“Only enough for him to live off of, “answered Iwaldi with a grin. He was pleased at how Loki was asking questions. He knew the question he asked was a complicated one and the boy was trying hard to understand everything.

Loki was quiet and said nothing for a few minutes. He took a deep breath. “I would jail the thief.  By showing the thief mercy, the people of Asgard will be angry that I allowed such exception. Even though he was helping children, other people will steal too and say it is because they are helping themselves in order to live.  After the merchants have recovered what they have lost, I will enact taxes from the richest Asgardians to give just to the poor families in Asgard. “

“How long will you jail the thief for?”

“How many things did he steal?”

Iwaldi pondered for a moment, “Let us say he stole thirty things from each merchant.”

“Then he will be in jail for 90 years. If he steals again after release, then he will be executed publicly.”

“Why publicly?”

“To show the people I listen to them and to show the others who wish to steal what I would do to them for theft.”

Iwaldi nodded his head. “Well done, Loki. You chose an option I did not provide before and it is fair to jail him first. Also, the poor children benefit through the taxes of the rich. You also listened to the people who insist upon his execution if he were to rob again. Although one may think it is cruel to have a public execution, it shows your strength as a king in that you are not to be trifled with. You cannot be kindly all the time as king if you wish to be taken seriously by your people and if you wish to be respected.”

This all made sense to Loki and he grinned triumphantly at Iwaldi’s praise. Iwaldi patted his pupil on the shoulder.

“Your father would be wise to consider you equally for the throne, Loki. You show great aptitude for ruling.”

Loki beamed at that. While Father did spend a great deal more time with Thor, Odin was now beginning to take more interest in him. 

“Now, then. Here is my next question for you.”

* * *

 

Iwaldi had been Loki’s teacher for nearly a year and a half now and not once did Loki have an incident of changing form. Frigga noted this and thought perhaps the transformation seidr had been used on him so much that it had now bonded to him.  Perhaps Frigga could exchange something else with Gunhild since it was beginning to look more and more likely that Loki did not need a new magical solution. She also needed to think more about placing Loki into a school. Iwaldi was an excellent teacher, but it disappointed Frigga every day to see her youngest without any friends his own age. Loki acted quite maturely for his age but surely any child enjoyed having friends and simply playing. Thor had so many and he was inseparable with all of them.  She was still hesitant to have Loki play with other children since anything could happen but it had been so long…perhaps soon she could have a formal feast to present Loki to court? _Yes, that would be an excellent idea,_ she thought. 

Frigga was busily in the process of preparing a speech to present for Freyja’s Honor Feast when she heard a knock. A maidservant came in and told Frigga quietly that Master Iwaldi had come but he needed to speak to Frigga. Frigga summoned him but was met with a surprise.  Iwaldi entered the room and standing beside him, clutching his hand was a tiny dark haired girl.

Frigga wanted to laugh aloud with delight at the sight of the little girl. Why! She was dressed like a little woman! The girl was no more than 4 decades old but her hair was wrapped into a tight little knot atop her head without a strand out of place. She wore a plain, grey dress that completely hid her feet.  She favored her father’s looks with his deep golden brown skin and had wide brown curious eyes.  Frigga went over, smiling broadly at the little girl. 

“Who have you brought with you, Master Gendinson?”

“My Lady Queen, I present my daughter, Sigyn. I would not normally bring her to my place of employment but the neighbor who minds her is unable to mind both children today. My son is sickly and crippled so it was more important for him to be tended to. This is not something that will be a habit and Sigyn is very well behaved. I assure you she will not cause any disruption of the prince’s lessons.”

Frigga had never told anyone this but she had always wished for a daughter. She always loved children but she had a special soft spot for girls. Frigga knelt down and placed her hand on her heart and bowed her head, a common Agardian greeting.

“Hello Sigyn, I am Queen Frigga. Welcome to the Palace.”

Sigyn knelt into a deep curtsey and answered. “I am honored to meet you, your Majesty. I promise I will be good and I will not make any noise, “she recited solemnly. Her father clearly coached her on what to say and Frigga could not help herself but she laughed with amusement at the little girl’s grown up speech. It also didn’t help that her voice was the most charming little voice Frigga had heard from a child.  Frigga gave Sigyn a kiss on the cheek and a little hug.

“I am quite sure you will not. You are very welcome to come and play in the garden or I can have our cook bring you something to eat. Would you like that, my dear?”

Sigyn instantly became shy and looked at the ground. Frigga laughed again. Apparently her father had not taught her what to say next.

Iwaldi thanked Frigga for her kind offer but stated that he would rather keep Sigyn close to him so he could keep an eye on her.

“Sigyn, thank the Queen for so kindly allowing you to stay and offering you food.”

“Thank you, Queen Frigga, for kindly allowing me to stay and offering me food.” Sigyn parroted back.

Frigga gave her an affectionate squeeze on her hand and patted her cheek. “You are very welcome, my darling. If there is anything you want, I want you to ask for it. I would love for you to enjoy yourself here today.”

Iwaldi thanked Frigga again and took his daughter away with him to the Great Library. He had instructed for Arna to bring Loki there for him. Today, he wanted to test Loki on his learning progress and a quiet setting like the Great Library would be ideal.

Loki smiled with genuine happiness upon seeing his teacher but it fell a little when he saw the small child with him. Of course, Loki was not upset. He was more confused at seeing the little girl with Iwaldi.  Truthfully, Loki had not really seen many small children before and the girl seemed especially tiny.

“Loki! I had to bring my daughter, Sigyn with me today. She will not disturb our lessons so you need not worry about that.” Iwaldi said lightly as he gently nudged Sigyn forward.

“Sigyn, do you remember the prince I tell you about at home? This is Prince Loki. Can you say hello to him like you said hello to the Queen?

Sigyn dropped into a curtsey (which was especially strange but amusing to Loki since hardly anyone greeted him that way). “I am honored to meet you, Prince Loki. I promise I will be good and I will not make any noise.” Sigyn repeated the same speech she gave Frigga earlier.  Loki was entirely unsure what to say back. He was certain that children Sigyn’s age did not talk that way and he didn’t really care if she was good or bad.

“Erm…thank you?” he mumbled hesitantly.

Loki fished in his pocket and found a small, shiny polished rock that he found in the garden a few days ago.

“D-do you want this?” he asked. What did one normally do with small children?

Sigyn looked at her father, waiting for his approval for her to take it.  “Well Sigyn, do you want it?”

She nodded enthusiastically and when her father nodded it was all right. In a rather lady like fashion, Sigyn held out her hand expectantly for Loki to drop it. She giggled when he did and immediately began inspecting the rock.

“Thank you!” she chirped.

Loki felt the corners of his lips tug upward.  Iwaldi then led Sigyn to a window seat and helped her get situated. When he returned, Loki began to take his progress test.

 

An hour or so into the exam, Loki found himself feeling tired. He had not really eaten anything at breakfast so Loki disregarded his tiredness. Twenty more minutes later, his head was beginning to hurt but Loki pushed on, wanting to finish his test. The room was getting hot and he couldn’t understand why.  Was it just him or was Iwaldi feeling hot too? His throat felt dry and he was feeling mildly dizzy.  He looked up to see if Iwaldi was uncomfortable like he was but Iwaldi looked fine. Oh Norns…the room was very hot now and he was feeling really unwell.  No, no, no! This couldn’t be! He hadn’t been sick in such a long time! Why was he feeling unwell now? Right in the middle of his test!  Loki wanted to vomit now.

“I-Iwaldi….” Loki rasped faintly.

The room began to darken and the last thing that Loki heard was a little girl screaming before he heard nothing.

 

* * *

 

Iwaldi looked up when he saw his daughter screaming in terror. She was pointing and screaming at Loki.  The boy had slumped forward in his seat and appeared unconscious. When Iwaldi rushed over and lifted him by the shoulders, Loki was completely blue and purple. _Oh Valhalla…_ this was the first time Iwaldi saw the boy as a Jotun. He had been told about when he first started but he completely forgot and Loki never became this way in all the time he knew him.  Immediately, he ran out and called a guard to summon the Queen. The prince had fallen ill and needed the Queen. He also ordered the guard to not let anyone in.  He ran back to his screaming and terrified daughter.

“PAPA! PAPA! THE BOY IS A MONSTER! HE LOOKS LIKE THE FROST GIANT IN THE BAD BOOK!” Sigyn shrieked.  Iwaldi paled. A few months ago, the neighbor’s son showed Sigyn a book of stories in which Frost Giants were the chief villians. Sigyn was terrified at the illustrations and referred to the story book as the bad book.  Iwaldi had no clue what to do. He needed to tend to Loki but his daughter was hysterical.

Frigga came bursting in with Arna. Frigga gathered her unconscious son into her arms. Arna  had a cold cloth in her hands and swiftly began applying to Loki’s forehead.

“What happened?” Frigga asked in a clipped voice.

“Majesty, he was taking his progress exam. He said nothing the whole while. My daughter began to scream and I saw him fall onto the desk!”

Frigga, with a mighty strength, swooped up her gangly son and gave instructions to Arna.  Both women swiftly marched to a side door and slammed the door shut behind him.  Iwaldi tried to soothe his child and not knowing what else to do, he took her home.

A few hours later, Sigyn awoke from a nap. Her father put her to sleep because she was crying so much but she was so afraid to sleep that she begged her father not to leave. Sure enough, her father was reading a book. He looked up from it when Sigyn tugged on his sleeve.

“Is the Frost Giant gone, Papa?” she asked in a timid voice.

Iwaldi sighed. “Yes, darling. He is not here but I want you to listen to me. Can you be a big girl and listen closely to what I have to say?”

Sigyn nodded. Whenever her father asked her of that, she knew he was going to say something serious. He always did this when he wanted to explain to her about why her little brother was unable to do something. 

“I want you to understand that the boy you saw today is not a monster. He would never hurt anyone. I see him every day and he never hurts me. Remember he gave you a pretty rock?”

Sigyn nodded again. Her father continued, “A monster would not give little girls pretty rocks. Yes, he is a Frost Giant but he is a good boy.  Not a monster. You must promise me you will never tell anyone about what you saw today. If you do, there are some bad people who will try to hurt him. “

“But Frost Giants are scary! It was in the bad book! They eat children!” Sigyn protested loudly.

“Let me ask you something, my child. Was the Frost Giant in the bad book very tall? “

“Yes.”

“Was the prince very tall?”

“He was taller than me…”Sigyn mumbled.

“Aye, he was. But was he taller than an adult?”

“No.”

“Did he have mean teeth and claws?”

“No.”

“So he was not like the Frost Giants in the bad book, was he?”

“Darling, you must understand that not all Frost Giants are big and scary. Not all Frost Giants will come and eat children for being naughty. The man who wrote the book and drew the pictures did a wrong thing in that he thinks all Frost Giants are the same. There are some that are very good and give little gifts to nice girls like you, just like the Prince did. You cannot believe they are all the same now, can you?”

Sigyn was still a little unsure but her father was making sense. He knew that the prince was a Frost Giant and he seemed to love the prince a lot. He talked about him all the time and he always came home safely. 

“Sigyn, listen to me. I want you to promise me you will never tell anyone about the prince. Do you promise?”

Her father was asking her to promise him the way he made her promise to take care of her brother, Einar and to never leave him behind.  “I promise, Papa.”

Iwaldi hugged his daughter tightly, “I do not want you to be afraid. The prince is a very special boy and someday, he will be your king. Even if he were not a prince, he is still a living creature and must be treated with kindness and respect. He would never hurt you or me, Sigyn. I promise you.”

Iwaldi read to her and sang her to sleep. Sigyn was reassured that prince would not hurt her nor that he was a monster. Still, she would never forget the look of pain and the way he looked in her direction before he slid into unconsciousness.


	6. Chapter 5

“Where are we going?” wheezed Loki, feeling tremendously out of breath. The Royal Gardens had been completely closed off so Iwaldi could teach Loki that day. The gardens were so vast and Loki had only been able to explore only a small portion of it, namely the part closest to the entrance. He had never seen the whole garden and Iwaldi wished to rectify that. One thing he noticed about Loki was that the boy was incredibly weak and had absolutely no physical skills. He found it appalling that a growing boy his age was inexperienced with running, climbing trees and boulders, or even how to swim! He knew that not all people were interested in physical activities but Loki was painfully thin and as a royal prince, he needed to look the part somewhat. 

Iwaldi was also of the firm belief that hearty and rigorous exercise led to strong and healthy brain. Not to say that Loki did not have a strong and healthy brain, but the boy really could afford to break into a sweat once in a while. Loki was having difficulty trudging up a hill but he was determined to climb over it. Though Iwaldi stopped for him and offered his assistance, Loki would shake his head (with whatever little energy he had) and would weakly put one foot before the other.

At long last, Loki and Iwaldi climbed to the top of the hill. Loki was almost certain he was going to die. To his amazement, he was amazed he had not fainted or saw darkness like he did.  Tired as he was and it felt like his heart was going to force itself up his throat, he felt pride when he stood on the top of the hill. It was incredible that he never knew this hill existed, being it was still in his own garden. As he sat above the hill, he could see so much of his family’s kingdom. So many sights and sounds that should have been familiar to him but were so foreign and strange. He felt small when he saw Asgard stretched out before him but he felt especially miniscule when Iwaldi pointed him to look east. His eyes widened upon seeing the famed Asgardian Coast.

He had heard about it and seen paintings of it but it was all nothing compared to what his eyes beheld. The ocean was a deep grey-blue with crests of white upon crashing onto the shore. Craggy black rocks jutted out proudly from within the water and towered high and tall. The cliffs framed the ocean and seemed to compete with the rocks for height and majesty.  Loki felt that he could stare at all of this all day. Small as he felt, he never felt so calm before and he completely forgot that he was gasping for breath just a few minutes earlier.  Iwaldi stared out with him with a half-smile on his face. Loki was experiencing the same way he felt when he was first taken to see the ocean. The prince looked the same way that his little Sigyn looked when he first took her to see the water. It didn’t matter how old one was or how many times one saw it, nature awed everyone.

“I cannot believe that I can see all this from the garden! I had never even tried to come here before!” he said breathlessly.  Of course, though, he had been barred from this part of the garden

Iwaldi was silent, troubled that his young pupil was hidden away from his own people and was restricted from knowing his own home. What a shame that one child was so obviously preferred over the other and it wasn’t as though the King and Queen were even trying to hide the preference!  Truthfully, Iwaldi was none too impressed with Thor. The boy was smart, yes, but was miles behind the younger brother. Also, Thor was brash and made reckless decisions. A loose cannon like him would make terrible choices for the people of Asgard. Loki took the time to think his decisions through. He actually planned and evaluated his situations carefully.  When Thor made up his mind, he was stubborn and bullish. Loki had his tendencies to be as well but he at least came around to consider other’s ideas.  Asgard needed a ruler like Loki and if Loki was better cared for, he would be the king that the people deserved.

 

“My prince, I want you to always remember that you are better than you are told to be. Things are difficult for you now but you shall have your time to embrace your greatness.  Do not be convinced otherwise that you should be the King of Asgard.”

Loki was puzzled, “But how can I be King? Thor is older and he will take the throne after Father gives it to him? Besides, Thor spends more time with Father anyway and learns more about being a king than I do.”

Iwaldi shook his head. “Though I cannot tell you the future, I am as sure as I have ever been that Thor’s reign will not be for long. He would enjoy the benefits of being a king, yes but there is a great deal of responsibility. Not all can handle the demands of being a good ruler. He would tire of it soon. Also, Thor only believes problems can be solved with fighting and armies. The people would grow angry of constantly being at war and would insist he be removed from the throne. No, my prince, you are a much better and stable choice for the throne. It is a shame your father cannot see that.” Iwaldi knelt before him. “I shall be there on the day you take the throne. You have my allegiance and my counsel.” Loki could say nothing to that.

They both continued to watch the ocean in silence but Loki was turning Iwaldi’s words over in his head. He never really wanted to be king, truthfully. He never thought of it but he did wish that Odin spent the kind of time with him that he did with Thor. Although Odin was getting better with visiting him, he knew that it was nothing compared to the way he sought out Thor. Perhaps his tutor was right…his father didn’t see anything in him because he didn’t care about him like he did Thor. 

Loki couldn’t enjoy the scene before him anymore. His mind was too angry and hurt as he thought of his low preference in Odin’s eyes. It wasn’t his fault he got sick all the time! He didn’t ask to be ill or to be a source of embarrassment to his family.  And if he was sick…why was Odin doing little to nothing to make him better? For Valhalla’s sake, he didn’t even know what was wrong with him to begin with because nobody bloody told him anything!  He was tired of being lied to and being hidden away.  In a bitter mood, he told Iwaldi curtly that he wanted to return to his chambers as he was tired now. The climb down was much easier but Loki couldn’t enjoy it. Someday _,_ he would get to walk through the palace like Thor did and Odin would love him just as much or more. 

 

* * *

 

 

Gunhild and her young seidkonur were ready to ascend upon Asgard. Gunhild was quite pleased with herself in that she had reached a solution much sooner than the allotted three sun’s time. She would be sure to remind Odin of that, just to exact a bit more reward out of him and (partly) to see him utterly uncomfortable. Of course, they were not able to come up with a spell that would permanently change him from Jotun to Aesir/Vanir but he would not take on his Jotun form unless he came into physical contact with a Jotun or the Casket of Ancient Winters. Not likely to happen since the Jotun were nearly completely destroyed and the Casket was hidden away somewhere. Only Heimdall knew where it was but he would not tell anyone if it was not for them to know.  Silently, the seidkonur made their way to the palace, unannounced and undetected. 

It was late when Heimdall sent a message that a group of seidkonur were heading straight to the palace. It was apparent they did not wish to be seen. The seidkonur were escorted to a small and out of the way chamber, momentarily followed by Odin and Frigga. 

“Where is the second son? Surely, even you have the sense to know a spell like this one cannot be completed without the intended receiver!” Gunhild hissed towards Odin.

Odin fixed her his hardest and coldest stare. “The boy is on his way. These are things that must be done with discretion. It is you who lacks sense if you think I can parade him about in the open!”

Before Gunhild could retort, Arna came with Loki but the prince was covered with a blanket over his head and shoulders.

“What is going on? Why am I not allowed to see anything?” he complained, sleep clouding his voice.

“Bring him forth and restrain him upon the ground.” Gunhild intoned.

An alarm went off in Loki’s head. Restrain him for what? Who was that woman with a ghastly voice wanting him to be restrained to the ground? Loki turned to run but he felt four pairs of hands upon him, dragging him away. Loki howled with rage and fear, crying out to be released and for Frigga or Arna to help him.  He squirmed and thrashed violently as he was being bound with magic to the stone slab on the table. Frigga soothed and stroked Loki’s head as much as she could.

“What’s happening to me? What are they doing?” he sobbed.

“Darling, we are trying to cure you, once and for all, of your illness. I do not know if it will be painful or not but please be calm. I will be with you the whole time.” Frigga said gently and in her most soothing voice. 

Loki tried his best to calm down but once he saw all the seidkonur gathered round him, with their hideous faces and inches away from his own, he tried to get away.

“Put him to sleep! Put him to sleep!” chanted the seidkonur to Frigga. Their voices were far more chilling than their faces. It sounded like wind being able to speak but it was an angry and hard wind, shouting at him and cursing him.  His eyes felt heavy and the sounds of the room were fading. The last thing he remembered, he saw Frigga’s eyes…small blue oceans full of hope and full of fear.

 

 

The seidkonur set to work immediately once Loki had gone into deep sleep. Nothing would rouse him until they decided or more than 48 hours had passed.  This would be painful seidr and it was more for their own ease that they put Loki into a slumber than for him to be spared of pain. Gunhild closed her eyes, drank a draught that she had prepared in a flask, and went silent.

_A seidkona, nameless and strange, appeared before Gunhild. She was ferocious yet strangely beautiful. The left side of her body was black as night, yet her tresses were white as clouds. Her right side was white and her hair black. Her eyes were closed and…they opened so unexpectedly like she was roused out of deep sleep. Her left eye was the color of silver and her right was gold as the sun._

_“You summon me, Gunhild?” The Seidkona’s lips were closed yet her voiced pierced through Gunhild’s ears._

_“I ask a gift of you, Great Mother of Eldred’s Fathers. I am weak and powerless, a newly birthed babe in your presence. I ask for the essence of the Aesir. I wish to pour it into the heart of the Jotun child. “_

_“Who is this child you wish to change?”_

_“Loki…Son of Laufey.”_

Gunhild nearly fell over from the scream that the Seidkona in her vision released. The younger seidkonur and Frigga rushed to her but Gunhild grasped her staff and pulled herself up right. She was still in her trance.

_“FOOLISH CUNT! YOU KNOW NOT OF THE CONSEQUENCES IF YOU CHANGE THE SON OF LAUFEY! HE IS A BRINGER OF WOE AND CHAOS! A MAKER OF MISCHIEF!” the Seidkona’s voice roared. Her mouth was a hard and thin line and her eyes were ugly from anger._

Blood began pouring out of Gunhild’s ears but she did not open her eyes.

_“I am a fool to ask, Great Mother of Eldred’s Fathers. I change him not on my account. The Son of Bor and the daughter of Ybor have beseeched upon my favor and will grant unto me any request that I or mine house shall ask. They know not the child they brought into their home. The Son of Bor seeks to create harmony in the realms of Jotunheim and Asgard…yet he is a fool and wishes the child to change for his own vanity. He would not be seen harboring the son of his enemy in his house. Odin King has little idea who this child is. “_

_The Seidkonur went silent and closed her eyes. It felt like the ground and sky were shaking yet Gunhild did not fall. Her eyes whipped open again, the silver and golden gaze was hard and unyielding._

_“It has been written millennia ago that the Son of Laufey would become the Son of Odin…and then the son of Laufey again. He will call himself a Fatherless One…then he shall…” There was silence. The Seidkona opened her mouth and let out a silent scream that shook the spiritual realm violently. Gunhild fell to her knees. After what felt like hours (though only seconds), the Seidkona lifted a large red fruit and bit into it, the juices ran down the sides of her mouth like black ink and dripped down her chin, breasts, and onto her thighs.  She held the bit of fruit into her mouth for a moment then spat it out. It was a bright, glowing green liquid and she cupped it in her hands._

_“Come forth, daughter of Snori. I have granted you the essence of the Aesir. He shall take the form of the Aesir…until he goes to the lands of his father or finds the Casket of Winters. Jotun blood courses through his veins still but his face is that of Aesir. “_

_Gunhild bowed her head and held out her hands, cupped together. Without looking at her, the Seidkona slowly poured the green (now glowing gold) liquid into Gunhild’s hand._

_“Go now…I shall rest now. The daughter of Iwaldi shall rouse me again.”_

_Gunhild immediately became puzzled. Who was the daughter of Iwaldi? Was it one of her seidkonur? The Seidkona would not wake now. Even if Gunhild called upon her like this, she would not be answered. Odin and Frigga owed her such a favor now._

Gunhild let out a loud, strangled gasp as though she had been submerged under water for a long period of time. Her hands were cupped still and a brightly glowing liquid illuminated the room.

She turned her gaze to Frigga.  “You must cut open his chest. Show me his heart.”

Frigga nodded firmly. Her outward countenance was stoic and capable but on the inside, she was terrified. She had to cut open her own son’s chest?! No mother would do this…unless she was going to save her own son.

Frigga took the blade of her father and recited a prayer for her Loki’s health. She closed her eyes and cut through Loki’s chest. The blade was so sharp it was as though Frigga was using a hot knife to cut through butter.  Loki didn’t stir once nor did he show he could feel the pain. He continued to sleep.    


A Jotun’s heart was an interesting thing. It was clear and white, as though made of ice. Gunhild invoked the Seidkona again, thanking her for the gift she granted upon such unworthy recipients. She poured the essence over Loki’s heart. The heart began to change and began to look more like flesh and muscle. It looked the heart of an Aesir. Gunhild waved her hand over Loki’s chest, his body sewing itself back together. There was no trace of a scar or any indication that his chest had been opened. Gunhild grunted and withdrew a large, leather sack and handed it to Frigga.

“In this container, there is the blood of wolf. There are herbs of vernal grass, Dulse, and Bladderwrack which will help him recover. He must drink it all. I suggest you do it now while he is asleep. “ Gunhild said solemnly.

Frigga bowed before Gunhild and kissed her hands. “My House thanks you, revered elder, for the gift you have granted my son. Your presence is a welcome one at my table as is the presence of your brood.”

Gunhild softened. She always loved Frigga like Frigga was her own. After all, she actively taught her seidr.

“I shall take my place at your table soon enough, my dear child. But I warn you…” Gunhild suddenly stopped. She wasn’t sure if she should tell Frigga about what the Seidkona had said. Not only would denounce his fathers, he would be the bringer of pain and destruction. No…no mother should hear that. Besides, not everything the Seidkona said was for all ears to hear.

“Warn me of what, my aunt?”

Gunhild shook her head. “You must give him the broth now before it is too late. Hasten at once.”

Frigga smiled gratefully and embraced her aunt. She took hold of the leather flask and poured the contents down Loki’s throat after she pried his mouth open. When she looked up, Gunhild and the other seidkonur were gone. 

At last…at long last, Loki was of the Aesir. He was free from his wretched blood and was now the son of a king.

* * *

 

 Loki couldn’t believe the great feast that was being held in his honor. He sat on a palanquin before Odin and Frigga. Thor had his own seat but…it was not as grand as his. So many wished him for his good health and congratulated him for his recovery.  As he watched the feat unfold before him, Loki couldn’t help but feel incredibly on edge. He knew he was supposed to be cured of his illness (he never found out what was wrong other than he was better) but he kept remembering the last time he came to a feast. If he was completely honest, feasts were sort of boring. Like Arna had said so long ago, feasts were so terribly loud. He could hardly hear his own thoughts. Iwaldi was silent but would pull faces or wink at Loki. Iwaldi also seemed to be the sort who preferred silence over such wild and crazy displays of decadence and finery. Iwaldi, prior to being Loki’s tutor, was not a wealthy man and seeing so much go to waste angered him. He foraged much of his food still and adamantly believed that all should respect the things that helped them sustained life. Also, Iwaldi desperately wanted to go back to his children, especially since his young son was ailing.

There was a great hush that suddenly descended the room and immediately everyone stopped dancing or eating. A man and woman covered in dark robes and hoods swept the room and cleared their pathway. Flanking them were five women, dressed in dark robes but considerably less fine then the man and woman before them.  The couple stopped before the palanquin but looked up to the thrones of Odin and Frigga. Loki felt the hair on the back of neck rise up and his heartbeat increase its speed.  Neither the man or woman said anything. The man withdrew his hood and revealed the most gruesome face Loki had ever seen. It looked as though the man had been burned severely. Tight, red, and angry skin stretched over his face and his face looked like a bright red skull. He had long black hair and his eyes bulged grotesquely out of their sockets. One eye was silver and the other golden.

He bowed his head before Odin. “I give my thanks, Odin King, for you grand invitation to your noble table. “ His voice was like that of a serpent…if a serpent could talk in Asgardian, that was.

Odin said nothing but inclined his head in acknowledgement. The tension in the room was suffocating. Thor, who was afraid of nearly nothing, had tears rolling down his face and he trembled violently. His eyes were shut tightly, afraid to look at the most frightening man he had ever seen.  Loki couldn’t stop staring. No nightmare he could ever have would come close to replicating this…this…creature he saw before him and yet he couldn’t look away from him.   Suddenly, the man fixed his gaze on him! Loki still did not turn his head or lower his eyes. He trembled but continued to watch the man. Loki’s eyes widened when the man appeared before him. How was that possible? Loki didn’t even blink and it was like the man produced himself out of thin air before Loki.

“You know me, princeling?”  He asked Loki. Loki couldn’t speak. The man’s teeth were sharp as knives and looked like shards of broken glass in his mouth. Loki could have sworn he saw flecks of blood on them.  Somehow, sound was able to come out of his mouth.

“No.”

“I am Eldred. Husband to the aunt of your mother. I bring you and you alone a great gift. One that shall make you the most feared and respected beings of this realm. More than the one that sits on the throne and more than the one who shall take it.”

Loki turned his head and looked at Odin and Frigga. What in Valhalla was happening?

Odin paled instantly but he refused to be afraid. “You will do no such thing, Eldred son of Ystag! You are under my debt and obliged to me! Leave my palace!”

The woman, who was silent this whole time, suddenly drew back her hood (it was Gunhild) and screamed at Odin. “You cannot banish mine husband nor me! You promised, Son of Bor, that should we rid your son of his ailment that you would give us a seat at your table and allow us to gift your son with whatever we desired! You break your word before your kingdom?! It shall be worse for you if you do!”

Odin paled, remembering he had promised Gunhild this long ago. The seidkonur held their end of the bargain.

“You may gift my second son, Eldred and your seat is beside mine.” Odin sighed reluctantly. What had he done?

Eldred smiled a terrible and cruel smile. “You are a wise one, son of Bor! A wise king indeed!”

Loki felt a large and heavy weight upon his lap. He looked down to see a large black tome on his lap. Loki had never seen a book like this one before and he had read so many. There was no title on the cover nor was there any on the spine. Loki looked up at Eldred, confusion all over his face.

“You might have your mother teach you from this book. You will surpass her and everyone in this room with your power.”

“Teach me what?” Loki asked, completely forgetting his manners. Not that Eldred cared because he threw back his head and laughed. Loki wanted to clap his hands over his ears and he could have sworn he felt something warm and wet trickle down the flesh inside his ears.

“Oh, you shall see…in time.”

 

He disappeared again with his wife and on Odin’s left, Eldred sat as though he was there the whole time. Gunhild was seated beside Frigga.  Frigga had tears pouring down her face during the duration of this conversation.

“What distresses you, niece of mine?” asked Gunhild.

“This gift you granted Loki…will it harm him?” she asked quietly.

Gunhild squeezed Frigga’s hand. “No, my child. It will not harm him. It may be discouraged in your house by that husband of yours but you must teach Loki the ways of the book. I taught you from it and you must teach your second son. Do not fail me in this matter or it will go ill for you.”

Frigga relaxed a little and squeezed Gunhild’s hand back. “So long as my son will not be harmed, I shall be at peace.”

“You will be more than at peace. You will behold the might and power of the greatest wielder of seidr. You will be the mother of the greatest seidmann and he will have you to thank for it. Wait and see, my dear. Wait and see.”


	7. Chapter 6

“Have you ever seen this book, Iwaldi? I don’t even know what it is called. There isn’t a title!” Loki muttered as he turned the book about. Iwaldi peered at the book and tried to open it. Unfortunately, the book was sealed shut as if glued tightly to the pages. Loki simply touched it and it fell open. He frowned when he saw the text, it was written in a language he couldn’t read. What was the point of getting a book he couldn’t read, he thought grumpily to himself.

“Do you know what it says? I can’t read it.” He complained to his tutor.

Iwaldi glanced but grinned. “At least you see a text. There is nothing on the page when I look at it. This is a very special book. Full of seidr and only you were intended to look upon it. It would not open for me nor will I be able to see anything on the pages. You remember what that fellow said, don’t you? Your mother will have to teach you to read from it.”

“It’s a seidr-book?”

“Aye, it appears that way, doesn’t it? Looks as though you are to learn seidr? Aren’t you lucky?”

Loki gave him an incredulous look. “Seidr? But that’s for females! Father said there are somethings that only the women must learn and some things that only men must learn. Seidr is not for men! It is a woman’s craft.”

Iwaldi had to bite back a criticism he was about to make against the king. He did not like when any aspect of learning was dismissed as a woman’s domain or a man’s domain. Knowledge did not discriminate nor did it decided who was worthy to learn. It was there for everyone!

“Tell me something, my prince. You love your mother, do you not?”

“Of course!”

“You love your governess, Arna, no?”

“Yes…”

“Do you think them weak or less than you?”

Loki was taken aback. What on Asgard was Iwaldi saying? “Never!”

“But they are women?”

“Yes.”

“Do you admire them? Have respect for their abilities?”

“What are you doing, Master Iwaldi?” Loki asked nervously. He didn’t particularly like this line of questioning.

“You have two women whom you love and admire. You think highly of them and you have respect for their being. Do you think they are role models? People worthy of being emulated?”

Loki nodded.

“Then, why my prince, do you not want to be like them? Because they are women?”

“No! Of course not…it’s just that Father said that…”

“With all due respect to your father, I am afraid that I find him wrong in this case. Please, Loki, do not dismiss learning a skill or something of value to you because it is something that “only women should know” or something “only men should know”.  Seidr is such a valuable tool and quite useful to know! Just because it is associated with women, why shouldn’t you learn it? And are women such horrible and dreadful things, unworthy of respect that we shouldn’t be like them?”

Loki hung his head a little. “I suppose you are right…I just don’t want Father to think less of me.”

“Never mind that, Loki. You do everything you can to learn as much as possible. Think of all the incredible things you can master once you learn seidr. I have always wished to learn it but it was not something I was allowed to learn as a boy. If I could be gifted with a book such as this, I would never rest until I learned everything I could.”

Loki nodded. Iwaldi never steered him wrong when it came to learning. In fact, the more he learned, the more Father would admire him!

Truthfully, it was all getting a bit exhausting trying to please his father all the time. He would do something and then Thor, for whatever reason, would have to one-up him. He always lost since Thor was always learning something related directly to being a king. Loki was learning other things but nobody really interpreted it as something useful for leadership. If anything, Thor would be told to keep Loki by his side since Loki would be an excellent adviser. The compliment was fine at first but the more Loki thought of it, he didn’t really like it. Thor was not obligated to take his advice when he became a ruler and not just that…that meant Loki was beneath Thor again and they were both princes! 

Although Thor was mostly kind to him and tried to involve Loki in more things, he was getting older and more competitive for some reason. He always needed to be the bigger, the faster, the strongest, the bravest and so on. He would throw wild tantrums if he didn’t get his way or if he lost something. Frigga had once expressed his concern but Odin just saw it as the boy being a perfectionist and wanting to do his very best all the time. Excellent qualities for a ruler. 

Later, after Loki had his conversation with Iwaldi, he wandered over to his mother’s Council Room and asked a maid if he could please see her.  Frigga was delighted to see her younger boy come to visit. Ever since he had been “cured” by Gunhild, he was getting taller and his features were shedding their childlike chubbiness and softness. His face was leaner the beginnings of hair was coming on Still, his appearance was a bit awkward but such as it was for young children transitioning to young men.  His hair was at an awkward length, his ears were a bit large and he was still terribly scrawny. Not strong at all but he was looking less starved and less sickly. Thank the Norns.   Loki smiled at her pleasantly and held up the book that Eldred brought for him.

“Will you help me learn this?”

 

Just as Gunhild and Eldred predicted, Loki was grasping seidr at an enormously fast rate. It was as though he had a natural inclination to it. Once Frigga taught him how to read the incantations, it was like Loki began learning magic at the drop of a hat.  Only, there was one small problem…Odin had not been aware that Loki was learning seidr or that he was good at it. Frigga asked Loki to not show Odin just yet because she wanted to smooth it over with him first. Still, Loki’s inclination to seidr was proving to be powerful. He was mastering spells that took her weeks (but only hours or less for him) to learn. She was so proud of him and her heart swelled with joy when she would see the absolute awe and happiness on his face when his seidr glowed brightly in the room as he learned one spell after another.  He was transforming small objects into live animals with ease, augmenting, shrinking, vanishing, accelerating, phasing, and building things all in the same day.

Gunhild did not exaggerate when she said that Loki would be the greatest seidmann to live. No one learned seidr this well.  The more Loki began to master, the more impatient he became to show his abilities off to his father and brother.  He was getting tired of being hidden away again. He was not ill anymore. He was just as worthy as Thor and he was going to prove his worth once and for all to Father. He would not have to compete with Thor anymore!

 

After an intense argument with Odin about Loki learning seidr, Frigga had no choice but to tell Loki the lessons were over.

“I’m so sorry, my darling. Your father really does not approve. I told him again and again how good you were at it. He just does not think it befitting of a prince.”

Loki felt anger bubbling under the surface of his skin. His stomach churned with anger.

“It’s not fair…am I not allowed to be good at anything?!” he growled.

Frigga was alarmed at Loki’s tone but she understood his anger. “You are good at many things, Loki. However, I must obey your father. He is our King and if he says so, then we must stop. Please. Understand your father, Loki. We have a reputation to protect in the realm and we must honor your father’s wishes. “

Loki stormed out of the room and immediately had a tantrum to end all tantrums in his room. He was breathing heavily with anger and he cursed horribly as he destroyed the furniture and the books. When he finally calmed down, he looked on his horror at the damage he caused in his room.  With a deep, calming breath, Loki began repairing everything with seidr. Everything was as good as new and as if nothing happened. He curled up on his bed in a ball, eyes stinging .

All he wanted was to be important. To be worthy. For years, he had been hidden away and everyone talked about him as “the sickly one”. Now, he was allowed to be free in his own home, roam the palace, talk to people but he had nothing to show that he was a prince like his brother was. He had no special talent he could share and nobody knew of how shrewd and intelligent he was. It was almost like…almost like his father did not want him to be seen even now.  He cried himself to sleep that night, something he had not done in ages.

 

“How are your seidr lessons coming along, Loki?” asked Iwaldi one afternoon.

“Father said I can’t learn anymore. He has forbidden Mother from teaching me anymore. “ he replied gloomily.

Iwaldi frowned. He knew this was a bad idea but he had heard from Arna how gifted Loki was at learning seidr.  How unfair that the boy was being stifled after years of being locked away. No…no the boy needed to learn and unlock his potential of greatness.

Iwaldi leaned in and said quietly to Loki, “You know, I believe your father said your mother was not allowed to teach you anymore. Remember when I told you to think about what others say and do not say? He didn’t say explicitly that you, ah, couldn’t teach yourself. Your mother taught you how to read the incantations and that was all you needed. See what happens when you try on your own tonight?” and with that, he quietly walked away to retrieve a book. Loki immediately became excited. Ah…no, Father did not say he couldn’t teach himself…interesting.

 

During an Honor Feast, the Royal Family was seated at the Great Table. Loki was bored and had nothing better to do. He gazed at all the people and imagined various scenarios of how he would use transformation seidr on them. A woman had too large of nose that looked like a carrot…Loki imagined turning her nose into a carrot. A handsome man was trying too hard to impress the maidens, Loki would make him old, short, and fat, and so on.  He was beginning to wish that he was forbidden from the feasts like he was before, at least he could practice his seidr in his room quietly.  He took Iwaldi’s advice and was practicing from the book. He went through at least ten to fifteen new spells a day and he was learning so much. He didn’t want to give up learning but he was keeping it to himself.  A drunken soldier gave out a cry for a wrestling match between the warriors and other strong men to participate. Man after man tried their best to pin each other to the ground. Thor was practically falling out of his seat, wanting so much to try his hand at it.

“Father, please! Can I try?” Thor asked eagerly.

Odin chuckled indulgently. He remembered being a younger male of great strength and a prime warrior and wrestler in his youth. Of course Thor would take after him in this way.

“Yes, you may! Choose your opponent but remember to be fair and accept loss with grace and dignity, this time. Showing displeasure would look poorly on a future king.”

Loki rolled his eyes at that. _Shut up,_ he thought bitterly. Not everything had to be about being a king, for Valhalla’s sake! His eyes nearly fell out of his head when he felt a large hand clap down on his shoulder.

“You’re my opponent.” Thor said with a triumphant grin. Loki shook his head vehemently. How was this even remotely fair? Thor was much bigger and stronger! Loki would fall to the ground in two seconds or less!

“No, I’m not. Choose someone your own size.” Loki muttered and stared straight ahead.

“Come on, Loki! You are my opponent! Wrestle me!” Thor ordered loudly. The room began to quiet when there was something amiss. The younger prince was not going to wrestle the elder. The guests of the feast began to look on with interest. Any bit of juicy gossip, the court gobbled up with pleasure.

Loki looked to Frigga for help. Frigga shook her head at Thor. “If he does not wish to wrestle, leave him be, Thor.”

Odin interceded. “Nonsense! Both boys must learn how to do so! Loki must learn some form of combat and it is better for a friendly competition between two brothers than among strangers. I wrestled and learned the most from my brothers and the tradition shall carry onward. Loki, accept your brother’s challenge. You will show great strength in accepting your challenges, like any prince would.”

Loki paled considerably at this. If he didn’t accept, Odin would continue to look down on him. If he did, he would be humiliated in front of the court! Blast! What was he going to do? He met eyes with Iwaldi, who looked utterly disappointed that Frigga had been overruled. Loki didn’t stand a chance but…Iwaldi simply nodded his head. He stared intently at Loki and said, “Fight wisely, my prince. Remember strategy and your…abilities can carry you a long way.” Loki caught on and swallowed. Oh yes…there was that too.  Hesitantly, he got up and the court began to cheer loudly. Iwaldi leaned back in his seat, holding his breath. Please, let him win for once. Let him feel some sense of glory and triumph. Let him shine, he prayed.

Loki looked utterly small in the protective padding he donned on. It was hanging off of him loosely and he looked pathetic compared to Thor. Thor shook Loki’s hand good naturedly before they began. “Good luck, brother. Just do your best!” he said kindly. Loki would have accepted this well wish if he wasn’t so upset with Thor for putting him this position.  Loki took his fighting stance (one he learned from the other wrestlers) and Thor did the same.  The warrior who proposed the wrestling idea thumped the table loudly to signify the beginning of the fight. 

Loki and Thor circled each other at first, then Thor charged. Loki remembered in his head there was a spell to move himself out of the way quickly so he closed his eyes and he darted out of the way, just in time. The court roared in approval. Even Odin sat up and began paying close attention. As Thor continued lunge at Loki, Loki began anticipating Thor’s next steps with his seidr and was cleverly dodging getting knocked over.  The cries and chants of the crowd for Loki was becoming intoxicating. He was give them something truly memorable. Something that would never make them forget this wrestling match…when Loki bested the bigger, stronger, and first born son.  Loki stared down Thor, as he resumed his fighting stance. What was the spell…ah yes. Loki closed his eyes and focused. Opening them, he was ready.

Thor, getting tired and having not expected Loki to draw him out for so long, gave a wild cry and lunged at Loki again. Loki was not moving and stayed stock still. Thor leaped and grabbed…nothing? What? Loki was just there a second ago! How…? Suddenly, he felt a heavy impact as Loki leapt from behind and landed on Thor’s back, pinning him down.  The whole Great Hall was silent. No one said a word. Loki stood up, expecting applause and cheer but everyone looked at him like he was…oh no….what was wrong? Immediately they all began to whisper, “Was that seidr? Did he just use seidr to win?” No one looked impressed, rather everyone looked utterly scandalized. Thor looked up at Loki, in complete disbelief. “You…how did you do that? That…you…that wasn’t really you…you cheated!”

Loki didn’t understand. Everyone was supposed to be cheering for him, celebrating his great upset over Thor but everyone was mortified at what he just did. Loki looked to his parents and saw Frigga, looking down in her lap with disappointment and Odin’s face hard as a rock.  He stood up and boomed loudly.

“The younger prince is immediately in forfeit. He did not honor the rules of conduct and used…less honorable means to attain victory. The victory is false.”

Loki felt his heart break when he saw how upset his parents looked. Thor got up off the ground and gave Loki the dirtiest look. “Wait, Thor…I didn’t know…I thought it was...”

“Be quiet! How dare you…you cheated! You used cheap tricks! You’re not brave or strong at all! You’re a coward who hides behind woman’s craft! I will never duel with you again.” Thor fumed.  Loki felt mortified. Everyone looked at him with such disgust and disappointment. The mood of the party was effectively ruined. Loki stood while the court began to disperse, leaving the hall. What a disgraceful display from the younger prince!  Loki felt tears welling up but he swallowed them up. He turned and ran as fast as he could from the Great Hall. He never wanted to come back there again.

* * *

 

“I TOLD YOU TO NOT TEACH HIM ANYMORE! YOU DEFIED THE ORDERS OF YOUR KING!”  Odin roared at Frigga. He never raised his voice to her like this. Of course he gave her orders and pulled rank on her multiple times but he never yelled at her with such anger. Frigga kept her head down, trying her best to keep her composure.

“My King, you must listen to me. I stopped when you asked me to stop teaching him. I told him I could not teach him anymore upon your orders. “ Frigga said, struggling to keep calm.

“DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS LOOKS LIKE? OUR SECOND SON IS DISHONORABLE AND HE PRACTICES WOMAN’S CRAFT IN MY PALACE! DO YOU KNOW HOW THIS WOULD APPEAR TO THE KINGDOM? THIS BOY WILL BE MOCKED AND HUMILIATED! BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR DAMNED KINSWOMAN!”

Frigga had enough of him yelling. “TO MAKE HIM BETTER! HE WAS UNWELL AND WE MADE HIM BETTER! I AM HONORING THE PROMISE WE MADE THE SEIDKONUR! I STOPPED WHEN YOU ASKED ME TO. HOW WAS I TO KNOW THAT HE WOULD LEARN MORE ON HIS OWN?!”

Odin knew his wife was right. Frigga had never defied him before and Loki was an immensely intelligent boy. He must have learned against what his parents told him. Yet…Loki was not a defiant child either (save for when he snuck into the Great Hall long ago but that was because Thor told him to come). Loki did not behave like this unless someone told him too…

“Summon Iwaldi and Arna. I need to speak to them both.” Odin said firmly.

 

 

It was late when the guards brought both Iwaldi and Arna into the Throne Room. They both knelt before Odin, whose expression was grave and unfeeling.

“You are aware of the events that occurred tonight. My younger son behaved disgracefully among the court. He used seidr in a duel. You already know it is unseemly for males to learn seidr but it is even worse when it is used in combat. My Queen had been instructed, ages ago, to cease all lessons in seidr with Loki. However, it appears that he continued to learn against our wishes. Were you aware that he was learning seidr?”

Arna looked at Iwaldi. Who would speak first? Iwaldi rose from the floor and looked Odin straight in the eye. “Yes, my King. I knew the prince was learning seidr and…I encouraged him to continue his study of it. “

Odin’s expression did not change but his blood began to boil at openly being defied. “You told my son to disobey me?” Odin asked, voice dangerously low.

“I did, my King. I did not believe that Loki should discontinue learning seidr because it is seen as woman’s craft. Knowledge of any kind is important and it should never be looked upon as something less because women practice it.”

“You had no right…you had no right to defy me. You teach my son what I have commanded you to teach him.” Odin uttered heatedly.

Iwaldi knew he should stop talking but he believed in the equality of men. He would say his piece and talk to the King like an equal. “The boy does not thrive. He suffers from the lack of confidence in himself and his abilities. He has a gift and you would crush it under your boot for your own pride?” Iwaldi countered.

Odin began to breathe heavily. Who was this arrogant fool to talk to him this way? Iwaldi kept talking, “Loki is no fool, my King. He knows that you prefer Thor to him and all he wants is your approval. He craves it more than anything. He believed he would please you tonight with his ability to use his gifts. What he lacks in strength, he makes up for ten-fold in his cunning and intelligence. He did it to please you! All he wants is for you to spend more time with him and favor him equally like-”

“SILENCE! You are dismissed from your post! You will not lecture me on how I must raise my sons! Iwaldi, Son of Gendin, you will leave the palace. You will not return anywhere near these halls so long as I shall remain King.”

Arna, angered by the unfairness of it all, spoke up. “You cannot do that! Iwaldi treated him better than you and the Queen ever have! He gave him better than you ever cared to! You kept Loki locked away, hidden from the palace. You taught him to be ashamed of something he had nothing to be ashamed about! And what does Loki know of the rules of combat? You never taught him!”

Odin brought down his staff and the room filled with hard light, nearly blinding Iwaldi and Arna. “You will both leave! You have poisoned my son against his family, encouraging immoral and dishonorable behavior from a royal! We hid him away for his protection! We kept him safe from harm! You have endangered him by teaching him to act in unseemly ways!” Odin yelled.

Frigga, who had been silent the whole time, spoke up. “You will both bid goodbye to the Prince. It would do you well to not tell him why you are leaving. We will pay you your final wages but you will leave immediately after.” Her tone was icy and hard. She was beyond angry at both Iwaldi and Arna for not understanding and saying that Loki was not loved as much as Thor but deep down…she knew that Odin loved Thor more anyway but it wasn’t true for her. She loved both her sons equally and she hated Arna for saying she felt otherwise.

Arna began to weep. Not at the dismissal but at never seeing her dear charge again. Iwaldi put his arm around Arna and led her out. He gave one last look of disappointment at the King and Queen. They all failed Loki now.

Loki was alone in his room when both Arna and Iwaldi entered in, looking solemn and sad. Loki burst into tears upon seeing Arna. “I didn’t think I was cheating! I thought I was planning! I didn’t mean to upset anyone! Please! I am sorry!”

Arna hugged Loki tightly and kissed his cheeks. “My dear boy, I am so sorry but your mother and father have asked us to leave. They felt we were a bad influence upon you. I will miss you so much, my love.”

Loki shook his head, “No…no, please! Let me go talk to them! I know I did a bad thing and I am sorry! I’ll…I’ll go apologize right now!” Loki tore away, tears blurring his vision as he ran to the Throne Room.

He burst in, “Please! Please don’t send them away! I am so sorry for what I did! I’ll never do it again! I swear to the Norns! Please! Please don’t send them away! They are my friends! I love them!” he cried out.

Frigga cursed to herself. She should have known Arna would say something to him. Frigga knelt before Loki and embraced him. He was crying uncontrollably now. “Darling, I am sorry but we must do this. We love you very much but this is for you.”

Loki kept crying. “No! No, please! I need them! They believe in me! They like me! Please don’t send them away! I’ll do anything just please, keep them here!”

Frigga tried to console her son. “My darling, I am sorry. I am here. I believe in you and I love you. Am I not enough? I’d do anything for you! You know that!” 

Loki sniffled, “Then please don’t send them away. Please…”

Odin spoke up now. “Cease your tears, Loki! It is unbecoming of a prince to weep like a child. Your tutor and governess were not of service to you and committed insubordination to your King. They are being punished for their disrespect to your mother and I. You will understand, when you are old enough, that we all must do things we do not wish too. You will be expected to make similar decisions when you are older.”

Loki looked up and couldn’t see his father. Who was this cruel, hateful man? Why was he doing this to him? Why was he punishing him so harshly and unfairly.  Odin did not love him…he knew that now and now…he was taking the ones away from him who did love him. Loki ran to find Arna and Iwaldi but they were already being escorted out by the guards.

“NO! PLEASE! YOU CANNOT LEAVE ME HERE ALONE! TAKE ME WITH YOU! DON’T LEAVE ME, PLEASE!” Loki screamed. Frigga had caught up to him and was trying to calm him down. She wanted to cry too at the anguish her son was going through. Why did it have to be like this.

Iwaldi gave Loki one last look, tears in his eyes.  Frigga beckoned him forward. It was the very least she could do for her poor little boy.  Iwaldi knelt before Loki and kissed his hands.

“I am so sorry, my prince. I will never forget you. Don’t forget me and please don’t forget everything I have taught you. Remember, you are greater than you know yourself to be. Asgard will see it someday. Just remember to be brave. Be strong. You will be the greatest of rulers. You will survive without me. I love you like you are my own. Do not forget that, ever.” 

Loki sobbed harder again, tears anew. “Please don’t go…please listen to me.” He whispered hoarsely.

Frigga was crying now too but staying here longer was going to make things so much harder for Loki. She tugged his hand away but bowed her head in respect to Iwaldi and Arna. She took Loki away by the hand and Loki, surprisingly, trudged along. He couldn’t look back again so he could spare his heart of more pain. He was never going to see them again.

 

* * *

 

 

Gunhild appeared days later before Frigga, face hard and stiff as a rock. “Rumor goes that you have been forbidden to teach your son seidr. You went back on our promise, niece of mine?”

Frigga sighed and relayed the whole story to Gunhild. It wasn’t good enough. “I knew that husband of yours would interfere. I shall speak to him myself!”

Gunhild stormed in while Odin was in the middle of an important council meeting , her voice deafening as she screamed at him. “WE GAVE YOUR SON THE GIFT OF SEIDR AND YOU REJECT OUR GIFT?! SHALL WE TELL EVERYONE OF WHO YOUR SON REALLY IS? SHALL WE BRING BACK YOUR ENEMY AND CREATE SUCH A BATTLE THAT NONE SHALL REMAIN? YOU ARE A FALSE KING, SON OF BOR! YOU BREAK YOUR WORD!”

Odin had to dismiss everyone and calm the seidkona down. “What must I do? What must I do to protect my son? Please…do not tell anyone who he is! He will die at the hands of the people! You cannot tell!”

Gunhild looked at him with an ugly expression. “Let him learn his seidr. Do not hide it. You are the king of Asgard. You should not be concerned of trifle gossip and rumors. Deal with it and do as we have asked.”  With that, she vanished away.

Odin had no choice but to honor the request of the seidkona. He cursed the day he ever brought them into his House. He never should have brought Loki in. All of this could have been avoided if he just…left the boy alone. It was too late now. He had to do what he promised. With a sigh, he descended upon Loki’s room.  Even he felt remorse when he saw Loki, lying in a ball on the bed.  The boy had not left his room since Iwaldi and Arna were dismissed. He rejected all food and cried most of the time.  Now, he looked hollow and ill. Yelling at Loki to be a man would not work. He had to take a different tactic.

“In honor of your governess and tutor, you will continue your training in seidr. You may do this but you must promise that you will eat something with your family tonight. I know you are angry and hurt but they were not the only ones who cared for your wellbeing. We are your family and we love you more than anyone else will. Dismissing them was not an easy choice to make but we cannot have those beneath us in station speak to us like they are our equals. We are royals, Loki. We must hold ourselves to higher standards and make decisions not everyone will like but it is good for us. It is an important lesson for you to understand. It is a lesson I must teach both of my princes. “

Loki was silent. He didn’t care about anything anymore. He just wanted to disappear and never come back.  Then…something very strange happened. Odin began to stroke Loki’s hair like Loki was a little child. He began to hum an old warrior hymnal and slowly patted Loki, as if putting him to sleep. Odin had never been physically affectionate towards Loki before and…it was not horrible. He scooped up Loki easily and patted his back. Loki’s tears fell freely.

“You are our son. Iwaldi and Arna said that we did not love you and that is why I let them go. I can tolerate many things but being told I do not love my children is too grave an insult too bear. When you someday become a father, you will understand how cruel their words were. “

Loki clung tightly to his father and wept. “So…you do love me? Just as much as you love Thor?”

“Just as much as I love Thor.”

 

Loki agreed to eat with his family. He still felt weary and unsure of them but perhaps…perhaps things might be alright now. Thor seemed to have forgiven Loki and was going out of his way to be kind to Loki. After dinner, Loki sat alone in his room and opened his seidr book. He had a lot of catching up to do.


End file.
